Choices
by Krstna
Summary: Everyday we make hundred's of choices some of them improve our lives and some make them worse, this is a look at the chocies that MWPP plus Lily have made throughout their lives COMPLETED
1. Evilness

Choices

Choice one: Tom

We are all born with our destiny planned. That is my belief, and I'm a strong believer in history. The choices we make will impact our final shape.

I was not born as I am now although I was destined to it. I was born of purity, nobility and yet raised in filth.

It was only in school I learnt of my ancestry. I used it to create fear and to gain power. I gained respect quickly and by eighteen was on my way to greatness.

I quickly hid away, casting spells on myself, taking potions. Only once did I leave my hideaway and that was to destroy the man who fathered me and left me to an orphanage at my mother's death.

I became more powerful and my looks began to fade. Nobody would recognise me for the handsome teenager I had once been.

Now I am older, I am stronger and I have chosen the path destiny lay before me. I am Lord Voldemort and I have chosen evilness.

I will carry on the work of my ancestors clearing our world of all who are not worthy of the little wizard or witch.

With my supporters I will take over and make our world pure once more. I will succeed or die trying, although it will take greatness to kill me, strength that not even Saint Dumbledore has.

For I am Lord Voldemort and all should fear me.

Hiya everyone, I'm sure some of you will remember that up until yesterday I had another story under the title of choices, well I decided that I was going to put the choices in order, so its gonna be like a mini MWPP story but through their choices, and of course Lily's then there's a few like this from other people like Tom Riddle, Dumbledore and Snape I believe are the main ones.

The chapters that I posted will be up again but they will be slightly changed none of the looking into the future thing.

I know this ones short but they'll get longer as I go on, this is about a side of A4 in my handwriting but a lot less typed up.

The next one is going to be a pov of Dumbledore and its very different to this one.

A big thanks to my lovely beta Annie for all the hard work you've been doing. And I recommend that if you get a chance you should read her new story Blood in my Eye the link is on my author page

Kris


	2. Order

All characters that are used in this chapter are from my story, _Friends Forever Maybe Not_, although you will know most of them. This is in the style of a letter from Dumbledore to Moody.

Big thanks to Annie for another great job of beta-ing for me owe you big time.

Choices

Choice two:- Dumbledore

_Alastor,_

_My friend of old, it has been too long since last we met. I need to ask a favour of you and I do not take lightly in doing so._

_My troubles are my own and I do not wish to burden them on you, but one must burden this trouble with those he trusts._

_I have been in this school that I call home for many years and have seen many people come and go but one sticks the clearest._

_A Slytherin by the name of Tom Riddle, he was Head Boy of this very establishment at one point. You may think that this has nothing to do with you, but you are wrong._

_I am aware of the trouble you and your fellows are trying to keep from the public. A new danger faces our world and I wish to help._

_Voldemort is to be feared for what I am about to tell you no one else is aware of. Voldemort is, in fact, that Slytherin boy I mentioned._

_I was suspicious of him and found that he was smart with big ambitions and the cunning all Slytherins held. He, however, is lacking in one thing. A conscience._

_There is something else you should know; he is the true heir of Slytherin. He has the purity that most of our kind seeks in a leader and he already has a close circle of followers._

_He is the one responsible for the trouble back here in Hogwarts all those years ago that lead to the expulsion of Hagrid._

_My friend, we have little choice as to what we should do. The Ministry is filled with corruption and already are trying to hide the truth. We need to act now while we have the advantage._

_I have chosen to set about founding a secret organisation, an Order to help defend others. We need to defeat Tom soon before others join him._

_Dyfan has already agreed to this as have the professors I trust, we have McGonagall, Flitwick and Ddraig on our side._

_I need your help Alastor; you are the best Auror this country has. It is your choice whether to join or not but I hope to have you and your most trusted onboard._

_Do not send your reply with a Ministry owl; Tom will be watching them already. I trust this will be safe. Meet me tonight in the place where adventure used to find you. Where now all but few are scared to enter_

_Albus_


	3. Choices

Choices

Choice three: Remus

I can't believe what has just happened; something amazing. I've been accepted into Hogwarts, HOGWARTS!

But I can't go, can I? I'm dangerous, what if somebody discovers my secret, what if I'm found out?

Or worse, what if I break out of whatever plans they have for the full moon? I could kill somebody or worse, could make them like me.

I hate being me; I wish I were somebody else, anybody else. Sometimes, you know, I even imagine that dad had gotten to the werewolf before it got to me.

Everyone else my age will be getting ready to go to Hogwarts but still I don't know. Mum and dad are speaking to Dumbledore, the headmaster, now. They said if it's safe, I'll go.

But if I do go how, will I explain myself? I can't tell people what I am, they'll be scared and then I'll be thrown out.

There's only one thing I can do. Not make friends… although that is the point, I'll have to lie about where I am three days a month and… no, I won't go, I can't go.

Wait! I'M GOING! I'll get to be like a normal person and the best thing of all, Dumbledore will make sure its safe.

I can't wait for this; it's my chance to be like a normal student, living at Hogwarts, eating at Hogwarts, studying at Hogwarts. I think I've made the right choice, and if ever I doubt that I'll leave.

After all it's my life and I need to live it my way

* * *

Big shout out to my lovely beta Annie who happens to be my only reviewer as well so thanks a lot hun, glad you're enjoying 


	4. Hogwarts

Choices

Choice four: Lily

I've never been normal; it's just a sad fact about my life. Imagine finding out at the age of four that you're adopted. Yep that's right I'm adopted. Of course it's not just me, but my sister as well; she was three and I was one when it happened.

Our parents were killed in a train crash; we were in it too, or so I've been told. I don't remember anything about it and Petunia… well she refuses to admit we ever lived anywhere else.

It isn't bad being adopted. Not at all, it's kind of nice knowing that two people love you so much and wanted to keep you when in actual fact they could have left us at that orphanage. They decided we shouldn't change our names at all so we've stayed as Lily and Petunia. Of course we're no longer Snotbottle, but that's got to be a good thing; I prefer being called Evans.

Edmond and Clare are brilliant anyway, they could never have children themselves because of an accident; they never went into details about it, but they told us they chose us because we were so beautiful and helpless.

They're really patient as well, which is a good thing because I'm always in trouble… but it's never my fault! Well almost never. Weird things just happen around me, I could never understand why until yesterday. But that comes later.

I remember that I had to wear this horrible yellow jumper one year for our Christmas play. Well I hated it; it was itchy and the worse thing I'd ever seen. Then suddenly it shrunk we still don't know how really but I got the jumper stuck on my head. It was a scary thing to happen.

Then I remember that this girl Crystal was being bullied by Ruby and I just looked at her hard and she fell flat on her face, she blamed me and I had to sit on the naughty bench. But I hadn't really done it, or so I thought.

Sometimes I did get into trouble though for things I knew I'd done like the time I hid Petunia's diary, and the time I put honey on the phone so that when she answered it, it got stuck in her hair. But those I knew I was to blame for.

Well yesterday morning it was quite early before school around seven o'clock there was a knock on the door. Clare answered it and there stood this woman with dark hair tied into a lose pony-tail.

She said that she was there to see me, and… well I'm a witch. That's why I can do all these weird things when I thought I hadn't. Even better is that I'm not going to St Joseph's Comprehensive. Come September and I'm going to Hogwarts.

I'm worried mind what if I don't fit in, or what if I'm so far behind all those who've known about their powers for years. Then there's the fact that I'm going to have to live there. I've never been away for more than a night; you know at sleepovers. It's going to be really weird.

Edmond says I'll love it though; he went to a boarding school and he says it's what made him. His best friends also went there. He said living with them day in day out meant that they really got to know each other and that they're closer than they would have been if they weren't in boarding.

So it's official; I'm leaving. Edmond and Clare are so proud of me and well Petunia is pretending that I don't exist, but hey I don't mind really. Okay so that's a lie. I love Petunia, she's my big sister and I wish she would be nicer to me but she'll learn to accept it given time.

I can't wait to start I wonder how many people I'll meet, I'm sure it will be better than I can even think of. I'll let you know how it goes.

* * *

Again big shout out to the lovely Annie for taking the time to read this for any mistakes. Also thanks to kay345 and Aroona for the lovely reviews, don't worry I'm not giving up I have 62 chapters to this to write so I'm not stopping any time soon

Kris


	5. Houses

Choices

Choice five: Sorting hat

Choices, that's all my life is. I was not made for anything else and sometimes that's depressing. So very, very depressing.

Imagine what it would be like to be hundreds of years old and know you're only destined for one thing, to tell people where they belong.

I'm a hat and sometimes I wish I had been left to only be a hat. I hate having to choose the future for the children, but Gryffindor needed me to do it. And so I do it.

Yes that's right, I'm Hogwarts' Sorting hat and I do just that. I've sat on the heads of thousands of people and read their minds.

Most of the time I don't mind it but every once and a while I read the mind of someone who will stand out. Can you imagine knowing that this eleven year old that is waiting to find out in which house they belong is going to change the world.

Don't you believe me, well its true; I can tell if somebody is going to be great or terrible. I can tell if they'll help others or try to destroy them. It's amazing what has been put into the mind of an eleven year old.

When I sorted Albus Dumbledore I spent ages trying to decide. He is so very smart a great choice for Ravenclaw but there was a brave streak in him that meant that he belonged in Gryffindor. I knew that he was going to be important, be a hero in the world. I read that he was going to be the one to defeat Grindelwald and help in the defeat of another wizard on two separate occasions.

Then there was another young man by the name of Tom Riddle. From the moment I touched his head I knew he was going to do great things. Terrible but great. There was no choice where he would belong because although he had the brains that many from Ravenclaw would kill for, he was the heir of another founder; the last in the line of Slytherin.

The thing that is worse than knowing the future of students is knowing that I am playing a part in that future. I knew I had to place Dumbledore in Gryffindor so that he could gain the courage to defeat Grindelwald like I knew Riddle had to be a Slytherin. But some are more difficult.

Take tonight as a great example it is the 1st September 1971 and I've just finished sorting the first years and I've been placed back in the office where I live. I always spend this time reflecting on what I have chosen for the young ones.

I know that those in Ravenclaw, Slytherin and Hufflepuff are right for their houses although I think that I've placed in Gryffindor those that maybe I shouldn't have. They are a bunch that could have fitted into all the other houses but a choice I had to make.

There was a girl among the first years named Lily Evans. I knew straight away that she is the first in her family to experience magic; I knew she was nervous, as she doesn't yet know the way of our world.

But the young lady is smart and she'll go far I can see that even now in my mind I still see it. She was perfect for Ravenclaw; everything they seek in a student. But she has a streak that she is yet to find. This young lady has bravery that a warrior would be jealous of.

She will need the bravery, though she has a long path to tread. I knew that she has had pain in her past that she has in fact lost both of her parents and has a new set. I saw the pain that her sister has caused her the last few weeks.

But even more I saw her future, she has more pain to come. I saw her death before my eyes how young she still looked. I felt her pain her fear and yet I know love will rule her life until then.

In the same house I placed a boy I know will be part of her future, the man she will learn to love. James Potter, now he is a Gryffindor in every sense of the word. His family has been for seven generations.

He is brave, I see that straight away; there's no way he could belong anywhere else, although the brain he has will challenge Miss Evans and will be a source of many arguments between the pair. But like the young lady pain is to come.

He will be sought out and death is the only path for him, but what will hurt him more is knowing that one he trusts is a traitor will have lead death to his door. His final acts will be those of a true Gryffindor and his legacy will live on.

The next is another who will be important in the lives of the two before. A young boy by the name of Sirius Black. Now he is different to all other Blacks I have seen in the last ten years, and the last of his family to show this trait was a young Andromeda Black.

He shows respect and courage and a dislike for the family traditions. I could not place him into Slytherin he is too different but his courage and loyalty are unquestionable. He too will need the bravery of a Gryffindor for he will go against all of his kin.

He is to be hunted down and attempts on his life will become a normal thing for him. However what I saw is more painful than his two future friends. He will not die like them young, but sent to Azkaban where he will rot before his escape and ultimately death.

Then there was a strange one, to place a werewolf among the group; he has bravery that is unquestionable. He has faced more than any of the others something he has learnt to live with, his place was sealed although again Ravenclaw would have been a decent choice.

What haunts me about him is the fact that he already lives with pain but he will have to learn to live without the support he will get use to. He will lose everyone and yet still live on he will have to deal with the pain of being left behind.

The last that I will tell you about seems weak to the face but inside him there is a cunning man waiting to show himself. Yet that comes later mostly you will see the bravery that he will show standing up to those that frighten him.

He will belong and then quickly he will turn leading to the death of Miss Evans and Mr. Potter and the imprisonment of Mr. Black. Then he will disappear to live a hidden life until he can again try to destroy the legacy that will be Mr. Potter and Miss Evans.

I know that by placing Peter Pettigrew in another house I would save Mr. Potter and Miss Evans from the early grave, would save Mr. Black from Azkaban and Mr. Lupin from a life of solitude. But then that one change could destroy the world as they will all working together, although unbeknown shape the future for those to come.

So do you think you could cope with this decision knowing that one wrong choice and you could destroy the world. I will allow the troubles of these young people just so that in the long run we will survive.

I have one choice to and that is to place the young children into their houses and yet that one choice makes a difference to all. As I said choices, that's all my life is. I was not made for anything else and sometimes that's depressing.

**First a shout out to the lovely Annie for beta-ing this story, couldn't do it without you hun.**

**Annie: Yes 62 chapters but I've only written 10 chapters so far so lots more to go I should really write more but I'm finishing year 3 of FFMN first I only have a few more chapters to write for that one.**

**Jessie: Thanks for reading; I hope you'll be updating your story soon**

**Well that's all I have to say except enjoy and I'll post the next one hopefully at the end of the week or whenever Annie sends it back 8)**

**Kris**


	6. Truth

Choices

Choice six: Remus

It's brilliant here in Hogwarts and I love being here; there is only one problem. My friends want to know where I go every month. How can I tell them I'm a werewolf?

I hate lying to them and it's been so hard the last two years. All I've _done_ is lie to them. They think my grandmother suffers from a terrible disease and that I have to go see her every now and then just to check on her.

I know it won't be long before they figure it out; James is already showing signs of knowing that I'm lying to them, although I don't know how.

They are the best friends I've ever had, and to be honest I don't want to lose them, and I don't care how that sounds. Imagine going from having three best friends to having none.

James is brilliant, he's always jumping around he can't keep still for one moment and he's smarter than most people think plus he loves Quidditch which has given us some fun conversations throughout the year. I can't imagine not having him to talk to.

Then there's Sirius, he's just as energetic as James if not more. He's got a lot of pent up energy and he can't stay still for more than a few minutes. He's always up for a laugh and he's as obsessed with chocolate as I am.

Peter's also there, but he's much more reserved, very quiet and well kinda slow, but his heart is in the right place and that's all that counts. He's always up to something even if it's just falling over his own feet.

Somewhere along the way they've become a sort of family for me and I'd do anything for them, I just hope that they'll take me secret well because they'll have to find out soon because the longer I wait to tell them, the worse it will be.

It is my choice to tell the truth but for the time being I'll keep quiet just to keep my friends.

* * *

Thanks yeah I like the idea of the hat being able to influence the outcome of things because the way I see it the house that you go into influences you greatly, the people who are around you constantly and what aspects of your personality is on show, so yeah.

As for the story I'm hoping to write more today, well no that's a lie I'm hoping to finish JOF today and finish this one by Monday so yeah.

Well enjoy and please review

Kris


	7. Truth and Trust

Choices

Choice seven: James

Two years at Hogwarts. Okay so only one year but we are in our second and it is April, so not long left, really. But two years and every month the same thing Remus disappear for three days.

Now I know I'm supposed to trust my friend but he's been lying to us all. He says his grandmother is really ill and I use to believe him.

Well my mum is a Healer, and I've never told Remus but then he's never asked, but the ward he told us his grandmother is on is my mothers. I asked her if his grandmother was so ill Remus really had to visit her once a month and guess what, she isn't even there!

That's right he's been lying, I found out at Christmas and I've been working on why ever since. Do you know what I found out? There's a pattern to his disappearances.

Now mind you if you weren't looking closely you'd never find this pattern. I started by looking at the dates he was gone and found that they were always the same day on the lunar cycle.

I've been keeping a close count since and it's always the same thing. Finally I worked it out last night. He'd been away for three days and looked terrible.

I've confronted him with what I thought and you should have seen his reaction, its true one of my best friends is a werewolf.

I made one mistake though confronting him in front of Sirius and Peter, but to be honest I thought I was wrong and he'd tell us something like three days a month he went to ballet classes (he is so graceful on his feet it could be true!)

The poor guy he said he would leave and not come back because nobody would want to be around him now, we'd all see him for the monster he was.

I couldn't help it I laughed. Said I wouldn't want to be around him three nights a month but the rest of the time I would.

Then of course Sirius opened his big mouth and said he already knew Remus was a monster. I swear Remus went whiter than before. Then Sirius laughed and said that was the only way to describe Remus when eating chocolate frogs.

The atmosphere is still tense in here but I'm glad I've learnt the truth after all he is one of my best friends and I trust him.

That's right; I trust him and I'm going to stick by him even if it means my friendship with Peter and Sirius must end.

I chose to confront him with the truth and I'm not going to let him down, he's a great guy and its time he learnt that everyone has an inner monster it's just his shows itself more.

* * *

Hello there my lovelies, and what is this but another post for you all. I like the way this is actually turning out I'm having fun writing it and I hope you like it too.

**Jessie **yes poor Remus but pretty soon it will be poor someone else you know the way the story goes. Anyway thanks for all the reviews, I like getting reviews makes me feel loved 8)

**Annie **yes I thought I'd describe the boys since I think Remus would be thoughtful and so its fun to see what he thinks of other people

Anyway a Sirius chapter is up next so everyone enjoy and please review

Kris


	8. Discovery and Trust

Choices

Choice eight: Sirius

We all have our secrets, each and every one of us. Living in a boarding school so close together it makes it easier to discover our secrets.

James did just that yesterday; he discovered that Remus is a werewolf. Now, what a surprise that was.

In all my life I've never met somebody like Remus And I'm not talking about him being a werewolf. He's one of the nicest people around. He's considerate, kind, funny, always up for a prank and non-judgmental.

I know I sound like a girl, but he is. If you ask him to help you, he won't rest until he has. So he's got a massive monster of a secret… who doesn't?

It's strange, but I understand why he didn't tell us. I know what it's like to be judged because of something you have no control over. People hear I'm a Black and just assume I'm evil. Well it's the same with werewolves.

He looked so scared when James confronted him; he must have thought we would run him out of the castle or something. Some people would do that of course, and I say let them try, they'll have to come through me to get at him.

He hasn't left of course; James made a point about how he didn't care then I started joking around about how he's always been a monster… well with chocolate frogs anyway.

Our dorm went quiet when Peter went to bed and it wasn't long till James followed him. That left me alone with Remus. He was nervous because only James had spoken up about always being his friend.

So I sat on his bed and in low voices we talked. I didn't judge him and laughed at the jokes he made about himself. I always wondered why he wasn't a Ravenclaw and now I see his bravery.

I don't know what's to come, but I do know others will find out about that side of Remus. Let them I say, because the more who do, the more they'll see that werewolves are just people.

I made my choice then, stuck out my hand to Remus and said friend. He grinned as he took my hand and I just had to draw him into a hug and ruffle his hair.

So we've learnt Remus' secret… that means there's one less to discover, and ups the odds of mine being found out.

* * *

Well another chapter for my two lovely readers and I'm hoping to have another one up the beginning of next week before Christmas, thanks **Jessie** and **Annie **for reading and reviewing and hope you like my Sirius post 


	9. Fear and Trust

Choices

Choice nine: Peter

Absolute fear, that's all that I feel. I know I'm a Gryffindor and should be brave but I can't work passed the fear for now.

You should try it; imagine just climbing into bed when you find out the person next to you is a werewolf. Bet you'd want to wet yourself too.

I know I'm wrong. Remus is great and he's always helping me. When I missed the trick step he was the one to pull me out. When I fell off my broom he was the one to take me to the hospital wing and when I was stuck on homework he'd spend hours helping me understand.

He's a good guy with an evil side. I've heard about werewolves though. When you make one angry they bite you and you become just like them. But Remus is too kind isn't he?

I should have known though; the signs were there. Just look at the way he wolfs down chocolate frogs for Merlin's sake!

I don't believe Dumbledore let him in, he must have known, he knows everything. Then James must have been suspicious for months why didn't he speak up sooner!

But I've never had friends like James, Sirius and Remus before. People who like me for who I am, which let's be honest, isn't much.

I'm a weakling, a coward. I don't know how I ended up in this house. I don't want to be without my friends and Sirius and James are acting like nothing has changed.

I trust the pair of them and if they trust Remus it makes my choice that much easier. I'm not going to run away I think its time I show them that I can be brave, and I'll befriend the monster.

* * *

So I hope everyone is having a merry Christmas Eve Eve (think Phoebe in Friends!) Sorry I haven't posted sooner but I've been working all week, its hectic in supermarkets this time of year and at least I get Saturday off (but back in on Sunday) 

**Annie** everyone loves Sirius, after all its Sirius, so yeah it had to be good, but look it's a weaker Peter, you gotta like weak Pete!

**Jessie **glad you enjoyed it Jessie hope you like this one.

So since it's Thursday and Christmas is on Saturday I think I'll leave you with a little message, its in Welsh mind so have fun translating it!

Nadolig Llawen

a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda

And translated it actually means

Merry Christmas

and a Happy New Year

So hope you all have fun, and don't eat too much turkey and your next post will be new year, so enjoy the rest of the year and you'll hear from me in 2005

Kris


	10. Prefects

I just want to say that these names are not important; I have just pulled them from thin air. I wrote this in university and had the book 'The Odyssey' in front of me (it's a course book) and the names came from there

Choices

Choice ten: Dumbledore

Prefects are always difficult to appoint and this year is no exception. The other Professors have sent me their thoughts on the matter but the choice will like always rest on me.

So let's start like always with Hufflepuff. I never seem to have much problem with this house. All the students are well behaved and work hard although they are not always the best.

The first prefect… well, I think we'll have Homer John. He's a good lad, muggle heritage so this will be something his family will understand. He's always been well behaved in and out of classes. I've seen him aid first years from any house and he's tutoring that nice Alison Wildflower in charms. He'll be a good prefect.

Now for the young lady, well Penelope Lotus. She's the upcoming star of their house. Her Keeping abilities at Quidditch are some of the best I've seen. She comes from a strong background of head girls; the last seven in her family gained that title. I think she will do well in showing those younger what Hufflepuff is all about.

Well with them sorted, it's time for Ravenclaw. This house is always that much harder. They are all intelligent and use their minds to aid themselves in everything.

Let's start with Helen Levin; she's exceptionally smart. But besides that she has a caring side. I know she was the one to nurse that owl back to health. Professor Kettleburn recommends her highly as someone who will go far in the care of magical creatures, and I do believe she could pass this caring streak on.

Then for our male prefect, this is more difficult. I believe that I shall have to choose Gavin Head. Another muggleborn like Homer, this is something his family will be able to understand. He is very smart like all the others but has a shy side that this could cure. I do believe that this position will make him a better wizard.

Now we come to the difficult two; Slytherin and Gryffindor, I do believeth is year is the hardest in a long while. Slytherin is always difficult to place; all are sly and cunning and crave power.

We give power to two who then can claim better than the others, but we must have prefects. I do believe my first choice should be Dawn Inchbald. She is as cunning as the others but her actions do not always show that of a true Slytherin.

As for the second well there is one who has shown himself as a top student always striving for perfection. I believe Severus Snape will also learn to work with others, which is important.

Gryffindor this year is filled with some ample students. Georgina Machiavelli has great potential but then so does Lily Evans. Neither has done anything to cause trouble and both endeavour for excellence.

Although Lily does have the problem of trusting people, she seems to hold herself apart from others. I do think this will force her to interact. Yes, Lily Evans shall be prefect.

Now the boys, more trouble than the rest of the year combined but Remus now he has worked hard for himself. Over come the difficulties life has placed before him. Plus who knows he may be able to calm those friends of his down.

Yes my decision has been made for Hufflepuff; Homer John and Penelope Lotus. Ravenclaw; Helen Levin and Gavin Head. Slytherin; Dawn Inchbald and Severus Snape and lastly Gryffindor; Lily Evans and Remus Lupin. I do believe that finally my choices are complete.


	11. Friendship

Choices

Choice eleven: Lily

Friendship; it's something that's never been that important to me. I know I sound like a freak right but over the years I've realized that there are more important things in life.

I remember when I first got my letter to Hogwarts one of the things that scared me the most was not making friends. But I was wrong; that shouldn't have been what had worried me. You see, I did make friends. Three wonderful friends to tell the truth.

My first true friend in Hogwarts was Becki Cartwright. She, like me, was a muggleborn first in the family and had no idea what to expect. We spent the entire train ride together. She found herself in Ravenclaw, for the smart and me a Gryffindor, for the brave.

We were still friends though, the best. It was funny really, we had three subject lessons together; there was Charms, Transfiguration and History of Magic. We use to sit together in those lessons then we'd spend time in the library doing essays together, revising. It was fun.

She use to tease me about my brains, said I should have been a Raven with her but instead I'm a Gryff. People use to think we were sisters as well or maybe cousins. We both had long red hair; it was the same shade as well. My eyes are a bright green and hers were a duller green and we were the same build, so maybe that's why people thought that.

I use to spend every Friday night in the Ravenclaws common room. We use to sit and chat with Tanith and Abigail, Becki's two friends. I would spend the Friday's in her dorm room and she'd spend Saturday in mine. Becki was the best friend I ever had. She understood me because she was the same as me.

When we were thirteen she died. She was in a house fire her entire family were wiped out in the single event and that was it the end of my best friend.

My other two friends were Sapphire and Scarlett Bacio. They're Italian twins, they had the most beautiful blonde hair I've ever seen in my life. It was curly and long and just played with their tanned skin and their eyes; dark and big.

They were both Gryffindors, just like me and we had a great time together. They loved winding people up and I can still see the look on Black's face when they pulled a switch on him one Valentine's Day. It was so funny, I couldn't stop laughing.

But something happened over this summer I'm still not a hundred percent sure what it was that did happen. They were pureblooded witches I know that, they're mother was English and they're father Italian they worked in the ministry as liaisons to the two countries and well… they were attacked over the summer. By an evil wizard by the name of Voldemort.

Sapphire was killed and so was her mother. But Scarlett is still alive, though after the attack they moved back to Italy. I hear from her once a month and she's invited me over for Christmas. I can't wait to see her again.

But the thing is with her gone I've lost my only friends in Hogwarts, but like I said earlier friends haven't been an important thing for me. She since I got into Hogwarts schoolwork was always top of my list of things that had to be done that was why Becki and I got on so well. I have this need to prove myself worthy of Hogwarts.

I'm not _all _about work though; Scarlett and Sapphire made sure of that everyone needs to let they're hair down sometimes. But this year will be different; I'm nearly sixteen and it's time to get completely serious about work. After all, OWL's are this year.

I'm hoping to pass them all but before I can think about that, something else has happened. You see I have been made Prefect and I'm so happy it's something that I can share with Edmond and Clare. Something that muggles do as well, so it's a nice thing to be.

But unfortunately there's always two Prefects for each house from fifth year up, always a boy and a girl. I think I was the only one who they could pick for the girls now that Sapphire and Scarlett have gone.

There are two other girls my age in Gryffindor but they're both twits though. First there's Sammy she's like the class clown only she isn't funny, she just thinks she is. I've never met anybody like her before and here's hoping I never do again.

Then there's Holly, the only thing that she studies is guys, I swear if you ask her a question about any guy within five years older than us and of course our age she can tell you their family background, who they've dated, their best school subjects and their worst… and of course how good a kisser they are.

No contest really, but the guys… well that was always going to be a nightmare. You see the boys are losers, all four of them. They love to prank and they have a combined mental age of three possibly four.

I think that Tony would have been the best but he was murdered last summer between third and fourth year so that left only four options. Black, Lupin, Pettigrew and Potter. Thankfully Dumbledore went for Lupin I think he's the best out of the four. At least he knows where the library is and how to read.

So that's it Lupin and I have to work together and you know what the weird thing is, he's a great guy. I actually really like him. He reminds me of Sapphire, Scarlett and Becki rolled into one person. I know how is that possible but it is.

See Remus is really sarcastic and has this dry wit that is just like Sapphire; they have the same humour. It's almost scary really how much it's alike. Then he's a joker loves to prank people I've seen him start many pranks and then Potter and Black just follow through, it's quite funny actually just like Scarlett use to do, she'd start them and then Sapphire and I would follow through.

But the side of him that's similar to Becki is the fact that he keeps himself to himself, he only lets you see the side he thinks you want to see, and then there's the fact his favourite book is War and Peace which I still haven't gotten through, Becki would be rolling in her grave if she knew.

It's an odd thing you find friendship in the weirdest places and I thought Remus was going to be my weird friendship of the year but how wrong could I get. I found myself partnered up with Severus Snape in Potions and then on certain duties of the Prefects and I've discovered yet another friend.

It's one of these things friendships sometimes you chose to make friends like I did with the girls and other times it happened before you know it like with Severus and Remus, but I've made a choice I don't care who their other friends are they're mine now as well, and I'm sticking with the pair of them.

* * *

Thanks guys for the reviews, gotta say this story will be put on hold as I only have one more chapter pre-written and what with exams that means no post for a while**Annie** yes Dumbledore will have to chose Head Boy and Girl so more decisions to make, never mind the fact he has to make these decisions every year, I'd hate that myself! 

**Avadne **yeah at first this was only going to be MWPP with Lily thrown in every now and again but this has sorta become a mini MWPP fanfic and everyone else who would be there has been thrown in, so yeah.

**LadyKay** thanks for the review and as for the sequel to eleven years older I have one planned but what with Uni and my other stories it's a long way off but I'll put in my bio thing when I have it ready to post 

Okay so this will probably be the last post before February because of exams so enjoy

Kris


	12. Friendship

Choices

Choice twelve: Remus

I'm the luckiest guy in the world and I've never known it. Well lately I have; you see, I have great friends that are doing everything they can for me and now I've made my family proud too.

I've been made a Prefect, which is shocking really. I never really thought it possible, which shows how short sighted I am in the scheme of things. I always said that because I'm a werewolf I'll never be made a Prefect… but I have been.

Tony would have been prefect if he was still about, but he was killed by Death Eaters the summer between third and fourth year. It's a pity really he was a great guy, a killer on the broom; he was the best keeper we'd had in years and now we have Clint Walworth although he's better than butterfingers Brian.

Yes, and as for Sirius and James well I suppose they're too rebellious to be Prefects and that's stupid because I'm just as bad as they are but I'm sneaker when I prank people. I've always got my books around me so people think I'm always studying but if they saw my notebooks boy would they be surprised by the pranks I came up with.

As for Peter well he's a nice guy can be real quick on the uptake at times but then he gets those weeks that normally last at least a month where he can't remember a thing, I'm sure he had a memory charm or something put on him when he was a kid.

The thing that shocked me the most though was that I was chosen with Evans. I thought that one of the Bacio twins would get made the Gryffindor prefect, although they haven't come back so maybe that's why. There's rumours' flying around though that they were killed over the summer but that can't be right. I'll have to remember to ask Lily about that one.

But anyway its weird I always thought Lily was weird, she never really stood out she was in the background while her friends took the limelight. But I was wrong; Lily is fantastic she has this life within that is unbelievable.

She's a very good listener as well she doesn't judge and I don't know I feel as if she sees something in me that I don't. I feel and this will sound strange but I feel that she sees something in me that nobody else does; she sees the good in me.

I always thought that I was lucky to have found three friends that don't judge me but I think that I have found another one in Lily. One day I might tell her my secret but yet it's too early in the friendship. I'll wait and chose the right time to tell her and who knows she might just truly accept me for who I am.

* * *

First of all I'd like to apologise for the long time without posting but I have been really busy, but on the bright side I finished my exams yesterday which means I'll have a bit more time to post but I start back at University on Monday so if there isn't much post its because of the workload.

**Annie** yeah that would be a good way to choice the prefects and maybe that's how he does it but it wouldn't have worked on this story really since its about the choices that they all make!

**Jessie** yeah there was a lot of death wasn't there but I wanted to show that she wasn't always alone but she needed to be alone for the rest of my ideas to work out.

Okay with that said I have some bad news for you all. Annie (who is the first person I've replied to on here) is my lovely beta. Well Annie's parents have decided its time for a family holiday. Now she's not back until next week, I think, no sorry it's the week after next. Well she's not back till February.

Well the problem is that this is the last chapter of this story she has beta read. So the story is now again on hold until she returns, I'm sorry for this but its summer over in Australia so we must let her have her holidays since we will want ours in our summer.

Well have a good week and there will be more in February

Kristina


	13. Friendship

Choices

Choice thirteen: Snape

Power; that's what every Slytherin wants. It's what we strive for… and yet for most, it's unachievable. But not for me, I've achieved that; it might not seem like much but in Slytherin if you're made prefect you're set.

You see, unlike the other houses Slytherin prefects achieve power outside of the school most go on to get important jobs. Not that most need those jobs, but what's even better the last five prefects have gone on to serve the Dark Lord and become important in his work.

I'm in with Voldemort now anyway, I had an owl from Malfoy and he needs someone with great potion skills which is me and now with my power I'm better off. There is just one thing that can hold me back; Evans.

Who would have thought that I, Severus Snape, would have been approached by a Mudblood like Evans? It's stupid; I'm a Pureblood Slytherin. What would a Mudblood Gryffindor want with me? And yet she wanted something.

It's Dumbledore's fault, he forced us to work with each other on duties. We fought all the time when we first started working together, we just couldn't see eye to eye on anything and I know that it was mostly my fault.

Evans is okay; she would try to make conversations with me, try to be nice and yet there was always something. Then a couple of nights ago something happened. I was patrolling my floor and she the one below. There was a mighty scream; I'm surprised no one else heard it.

I thought that it was that Potter; oh I hate him and his friend Black. I thought maybe they were pranking Evans again. So I headed down to the next floor and was extremely surprised when I found that it wasn't a Gryffindor but one of my own 'friends' Nott.

Evans had her wand at his neck but he was grinning, so I did something against the house and stepped in, Nott left and I remember the panic that had edged onto Evans' face when I appeared vanish. She did something I've never experienced before she hugged me.

Something between us changed then and we've been friends since, I don't know what will happen especially with the way our society is shaping and the leaders that we have but it was my choice to step in when Nott was there and now we're friends and that is fine with me.

* * *

Okay I know its been a while since I last updated and sorry about the wait, but here is the next chapter for you. Thanks to both **Jessie** and **Annie** for the last reviews hope you like this one

Kris


	14. Dating

Choices

Choice fourteen: Lily

Dear Diary,

I can't believe it, it's a nightmare… I've got a crush! I hate it when this happens, I always end up getting distracted. I don't want to have a crush on anybody. But every time I see him I can't help but smile, and I keep imagining how it would feel to have him hold me and then kiss him and… ah, this is too much, I'm going to take a bath.

* * *

Dear Diary,

I still can't get him out of my head it's been two weeks and my feelings are really starting to take over now. But nothing can ever happen between us, we're too different. But then again, Scarlet always said opposites attract. It's strange really how come I had to fall for him; although it could be worse… it could be Potter. He's a complete prat. No, at least my crush is decent. Well I've got homework to do, better go.

* * *

Dear Diary,

I'm so angry I can't believe it; my life is a mess. That prat Potter has only gone and decided that he has a crush on me. Oh and no he can't be subtle like me and keep it to himself because it completely goes against everything, he's decided he has to be up front and direct with me and ask me out. I told him to go away that I'd never go out with him and he just smiled and said in time. What the hell is that suppose to mean? I'm too angry to carry on.

* * *

Dear Diary,

Okay so it's been nearly a week since my last entry but I've been busy. No really I have. So the school has gone mad, I mean completely mad. It's nearly Valentines Day and the girls seem to all be trying to get dates. How pathetic is that? I wonder if he'll ask me. Oh no... of course not, he won't want me. At least Potter is leaving me alone, mind I suppose Mindy wouldn't be happy if he tried anything on with me since they're together. Prefect meeting better go.

* * *

Dear Diary,

You know I think this school is great but how come suddenly all the girls look gorgeous and I feel like the ugly duckling? I was so surprised; all the girls in the meeting had on make-up and these tight low-cut tops and short skirts. God even the guys look good at the moment, and yes that includes Potter, but that doesn't mean _anything_. I think I'm going to call it an early night.

* * *

Dear Diary,

It's Valentines Day and the school is hectic even more so than normal. Potter and Black are so childish… they turned up to breakfast wearing pink shirts instead of the white school ones. Mind, they both looked cute…. pity they don't have personalities. Remus though he's a sweetie, he looked really nervous as all the girls were swarming around them, I don't know why though he's just as good looking as Black and Potter, and with his great personality he's much better. Oh, McGonagall just walked in; lesson time.

* * *

Dear Diary.

I don't believe it… he gave me a rose! Severus Snape gave me a rose, and he asked me out. Of course I said yes, he's an amazing person. I know he's a Slytherin and me, I'm a Gryffindor… but that doesn't matter. And okay he isn't the best looking bloke around but he sees me for me and I think he's gorgeous. It's his eyes. They're the window to his soul, and… oh I'm so happy! It's a pity we can't tell anybody. I'm going to send Sapphie a letter and tell her though; she'll be happy for me.

* * *

Dear Diary,

Sapphie thinks I've lost it, but I don't care. She says that I've got to come visit her over the summer so she can check me out make sure I'm not ill or under some sort of potion that Sevie has given me. I'll have to go and explain things to her. Mind I don't care if she isn't happy with it because at the end of it all it's my choice, and I'm happy with it.

* * *

Okay so here's the next chapter for you, leading us down that path of Lily and Snape although it isn't permanent it is important in this story to explain later choices that will play a big part.

**Jessie** thanks for the review hun, I've noticed you have a new story up and I shall be reading it, but first I have an essay to write on the architecture of the temple of Portunus in Rome, but I shall read when I have time

**Annie** yeah well Snape must be in character form otherwise he's no fun, more chapters coming your way shortly

Anyway next post will be after next Wednesday because I have seminar notes to prepare for next Wednesday as well as an essay due in. Hope you like this chapter though and please review

Kris


	15. Dating

Choices

Choice fifteen: Snape

Girls have never found me attractive; I'm nothing special to look at. It's the fact; I'm so pale because I don't go outside often. I'm too busy to go out anyway what with having to work on school work so I can be the best; it's the only way to guarantee I'll be high up in the Lord's order.

Then there's the fact that I have a large hooked nose. I know I have and so does everyone else and then there's my hair long and yes greasy. It doesn't matter how often I wash it, my hair is just destined to be that way.

I'm use to it though and it's not all that important really, well beauty anyway. It will fade in everyone given time but now there's that Gryffindor prefect Evans. She's amazing and I've seen the way she looks at me.

It's strange she actually looks at me and not through me and there's always so much kindness in her eyes she sees something in me and she's beautiful. But you know what's even more attractive she doesn't know it. I know how weird does that sound but she doesn't.

We had a prefects meeting earlier and all the girls turned up in these tight little mini skirts that could have passed for belts, then they had on those tops that show everything very little covered, plus their faces were filled with make-up.

You should have seen the looks on the boys' faces when they entered they were all staring and drooling it was hysterical, they looked little cheep tarts it just wasn't attractive. Then Evans walked in. You should have seen the guys' faces.

She was in a pair of jeans and a fitted jumper her long hair falling down her back she was beautiful and even better she wasn't trying to be. Everyone noticed her and the girls… well if looks could kill. But she still didn't notice.

That however was when I did. She'd been sneaky with me I knew she wanted more than friendship but she was too afraid after all I am a Slytherin and we're not known for kindness to Gryffindors especially the muggleborn ones.

She sat with that Lupin and they were just talking but I couldn't help but keep glancing at her the way she bit her lip showed she was nervous, while she twirled her hair gently while laughing at something he'd said.

My heart was taken there and then, I had to have her. I knew it. So I chose to do something; I planned it out for Valentine's Day. I found her after the lessons had finished and handed her this single white rose. I'd spent two weeks looking for the perfect flower for her.

Then though came the tough part and I asked her out, and amazingly she said yes. We're going to Hogsmeade next weekend. I know this is something that goes against our nature but I don't care, you can't chose who your heart wants but it is up to you to follow it. The choice was easy; I picked Lily Evans.

* * *

I know its been a while hasn't it but that's because I've been sitting on this chapter, due to essay writing and things, but its up now and I hope you like it. I must say I'm not a big fan of LE/SS but I've added it to explain choice 42 because otherwise that choice doesn't make sense from any perspective.

**Annie:** I know I'm not a big fan of SS/LE as I stated above, but you remember when I first started this story and the first few choices I posted well that's why its here! Anyway thanks for getting this back to me and here's hoping we won't have any trouble with the next chapter

**Avadne:** Thank you. I can assure you this will NOT be a reason for James to hate Snape, as it is a secret relationship that nobody will know about. Although it is important that's why I've added it. I'm glad you're open minded to it and that you didn't think it too unbelievable. I hope that you like this viewpoint as well.

Okay well that's all I gotta say please review this if you read it because I'd like to know what you think even if its just Snape and Lily would never date you weirdo I'll be happy with that.

Kris


	16. Prongs

Choices

Choice sixteen: James

To help a friend in need is one of the best things in life, and I'm proud to say that I did help. Peter found a book in the library (by complete accident) that solved our problems.

We've been trying for three years to find a way to help Remus during his transformations. Through studying so many texts on werewolves, Sirius and I found that the only way was to become animals.

Of course, we knew this was possible thanks to McGonagall's show and tell classes. When she transfigured into a cat, we knew that was the way. Only thing was, it took us three years to work out how.

Like I said, Peter was the one to find the book back in third year; I copied the text onto spare parchment so we wouldn't have to keep the book and draw attention.

Two years, we studied it for, and now finally all the hard work has paid off. Last night we met in a secret room that can turn itself into whatever you want and tried it again.

I went first on this occasion (Sirius and I take turns) and I stood there concentrating on becoming an animal. I felt this funny fuzzy feeling on the inside and then I said the words to the spell.

Of course the words don't need to be spoken one must just concentrate on them but I spoke them out loud. The world changed on me then. I felt my shoulder blades move, my arms and legs grew in length.

My eyesight changed, becoming stronger, as my hearing more delicate. The perspective also changed; I seemed to be looking lower. I needed to go run to find trees, feel the grass under my feet.

Sirius' whoop startled me, but I didn't move as he came forward. I felt his fingers on the side of my face, then running up my head. He touched something hard and I wondered what I was.

Peter's whisper answered that I was a stag and according to Remus, who was writing my form down, an adult stag. Large antlers on my head, I felt completely in control.

Changing back was just as odd I had the sensation that I was in the wrong form. My arms felt too short, my shoulders ached and my eyes were back to being less than perfect.

But I'm happy I set out to conquer this spell and I've finally done it. I chose to become an illegal Animagi for my friend and it's a decision I'm proud to have made.


	17. Padfoot

Choices

Choice seventeen: Sirius

Seeing James becoming his alter ego last night was amazing; one minute, it's plain old James... and the next, it's an enormous stag. Okay, so I felt the pressure in that moment.

James is like my brother, my kin... but he's also my biggest competition. We push each other's buttons. It's the pureblood thing; we've got to be the best.

So after James became himself again I moved forward... and I couldn't do it. I was so embarrassed. I wanted to be able to do it since James had.

So blocking out all sound I sat on the floor and closed my eyes. I thought hard while sitting there, I pictured James in animal form, then the owls in the tower and the cats in the dorms. I thought of all the magical creatures Kettleburn had ever shown us.

Then I got that feeling in my stomach. You know the way it sort of jumps when you get nervous and you think you're going to throw up, but then the adrenaline rushes in and you want to do something dangerous.

As the feeling intensified I thought hard of the words on that piece of parchment. I saw the parchment in my minds eye then a fuzzy feeling took over. I let it take over me didn't try to fight. I felt myself hunch over, my legs shrunk but my arms stayed as they were.

A tickling sensation ran over my body and my shoulder blades changed shape. I felt my head change at the same time and then I saw a snout like thing where my nose used to be. I looked up I was shorter than normal. Peter was tall next to me.

I sniffed and I could smell the corned beef sandwiches that we had brought but were still in the bag; I couldn't smell them before. My nose felt wet and then I heard a small whistle and my ears stood up... they were standing up!

Then Peter's voice as he happily said 'here boy'; I tell you I wanted to go lick his hand. I stood up and that's when I knew I had a tail, and it was wagging. For some unknown reason I wanted to catch my tail and so I chased it, in a circle.

Remus' laughter distracted me and I ran over and pounced on him, licking his face with my large pink tongue. I knew what I was now I was a dog. Man's best friend, loyal to the end, that's me. I moved back to the middle of the room and thought again.

I felt myself transform back and when I became myself again I knew I had made the right choice. Seeing the smile on Remus' face as he stood up wiping the wet patch I had left told me that I was right to be helping my friend.


	18. Wormtail

Choices 

Choice eighteen: Peter

I'm not the best wizard in the world; I know that and I don't pretend to be. I know that I'm where I am because of my friends. They're strong wizards and yes, we are only sixteen, but they radiate power and they're not the only ones. There are a lot of wizards and witches that show the signs that they'll be important.

But me, I'm at the lower end of the scale. I'm no squib and I was never going to be one; I've been showing power since I was a young kid... it's just that I've never been strong. Or maybe it's because I lack confidence; that's why I'm not that good.

Yet I am important, James told me so. It's because two years ago I got lost in the library and knocked some books over. I was so embarrassed that I pretended I wanted the three books I dropped and quickly left the library.

Well, Remus found the books good he had a quick look and we found it, the spell to make us animals. Well we've been working on the spell for two full years. Last night James and Sirius both did it; I've never seen anything like it... well except with McGonagall.

One minute James was standing there six feet tall messy black hair, hazel eyes hidden behind glasses and the next that wasn't his face. A giant stag stood there and he looked powerful and almost scary, but it was still James. Then he was himself again standing there in his uniform.

Sirius took longer than James, which isn't that surprising because James always seems to beat Sirius. He was there standing at his height of five foot eleven and then he was down to about four foot on all fours, his neat hair turned messy and his dog form stood there.

I couldn't do it though... but tonight, we went back and I stood there I thought of their animal forms, thought of the owls in their tower and the cats running throughout the school. Then a fuzzy feeling sort of took over my stomach and I thought of the spell.

The world was growing, everything got big, and I'm not the largest person height wise... but I felt so much shorter. Then I looked up and James, Sirius and Remus stood massive above me. They already are taller than me (Remus is six foot two and me, I'm five foot six) but now they seemed like giants.

A strange feeling took over my face and I began to sniff as if I had a cold and then, then I could smell cheese. I wanted to find it and run after it, but a hand scoped me up. I saw Remus looking down at me and his voice sounded so much louder than normal.

"Peter, you're a rat!"

I knew it; the cheese made me think of a rat or mouse but as I changed back to me it left me with an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. We became the animal that best suited our personality.

James was the stag, the leader of the group always left with decisions to make; Sirius was a dog, loyal and loveable and me... I'm a rat. I don't know about you, but when I think of rats, I think of criminals. I'm hoping that there's something else to it. Maybe it's the fact I love cheese, like a rat.

Whatever the reason though, I don't care. I'm small but that's good for when it comes to the willow tree and freezing it. Although this is a cool thing for me, I haven't done it for myself; I would never have. I'm not an amazing wizard but I'm good enough to change into an animal, and I chose to do it all for my friend. All for Remus.


	19. Crush

Choices

Choice nineteen: James

Something strange is happening and I can't believe it. I'm drawn to Evans. Okay, so you might wonder what the big deal is. Well, I've been chasing her all year... but that wasn't because I liked her. That was because Sirius betted that I couldn't get her, and he was right.

Evans is one of those girls; you know, one that doesn't fall for just anybody. I've known her now for five years and I've never really thought of her. But she's something else. Sirius and I have this bet at the beginning of each year and we stick by it.

Like in our first year it was who could find the most hidden passages... and he won it, he found one more than me. Then second year it was who could get the most detentions and he bet me again! Then third year we did this brilliant one which was who could prank the most students, but we couldn't do the same person twice. Guess who won? Yep, Sirius. Last year it was pranking the teachers. He won again, although I _did_ get Dumbledore.

This year we were on the train and Sirius said there was no point really, we should just mark him the winner. But we love it too much not to try. So the deal was we both had to get a certain girl to go out with us by the end of the year.

So there we were sitting there when Evans turned up and looked around the compartment. She sort of had her nose turned up at us, she wasn't much to look at, already in her uniform and I noticed the badge she wore on her tie.

But she came for Remus who was missing a meeting. Well Sirius knew then that she was the one I would have to get, and boy did I try. I've given her small gifts, tried conversations with her, showed off, and rumpled my hair in that way the girls think is cute and nothing has worked.

Peter said maybe she'd prefer if I was a girl but I've seen the way she looks at guys she's after one of us. The thing that was getting me through it was the fact that Sirius wasn't getting anywhere with Alex either, so he wasn't anywhere near winning.

But it must have been just after Easter when things began to change. I was in the library working on my potions essay and she was sitting there. I couldn't help but watch her. She was dressed in muggle clothes and not her uniform since it was a Sunday.

I noticed the fact that she had a short skirt on and wow, she has legs. I mean I knew she had legs, but her robes normally hide them and they're just... well I couldn't take my eyes off them. Then she had on a jumper, it was a soft chestnut colour but it brought out her hair.

Now that's something else. She's ginger, well no red. It doesn't matter, it's just I never would have been drawn to that before because... well red heads aren't really seen as all that beautiful. But she is. Her hair is this unique shade that suits her. It makes her skin seem more ivory and flawless.

Then her eyes, well I've never really had the chance to study them in depth but they're this sparkling green, like emerald, in colour. It just completes her and in that instant of watching her I realised that, yes I have a crush on her.

I didn't know what to do since all my normal tactics haven't worked on her so far this year. I think there's only one thing that's right; I have to let Sirius win this bet and lose for a fifth time in a row but if I keep this bet up it might come back to bite me in the butt.

I couldn't believe that it was Lily Evans that caught my attention. I thought, why her? I could have any girl in the school really, but it had to be her. The only one that doesn't want me. She doesn't fall for the Quidditch star. She doesn't fall for Mr. Prankster.

I didn't chose to fall for her and if I could chose I would want somebody else because then I'd have a chance. But I do have a choice and that's to get to know her, find out what she likes, her hobbies. Then in time, become her friend and after friendship maybe then I'll get her. Only time will tell if I win this one.


	20. Leaving

Choices

Choice twenty: Sirius

Families are supposed to be there for one another. To show compassion and understand. They show you guidance and help shape you into the person you become. Thank Merlin mine failed.

My family doesn't understand the word compassion. The only guidance they give is the way to the dark side. My family are Evil, with a capital E.

My mother was a Parkinson before she became a Black. They weren't the richest family, but they knew the difference in breeding. One must be of pure blood to excel.

She pushed me to think like she did. Wanted me to be as they were. Even had my marriage to Penelope Nott arranged by the age of six.

I would have loved to see her face when she got my owls. What a disappointment to the family did I turn out to be!

Then there was father, who believed money spoke. Well I suppose it does, in the circle he's involved with. But not the circle I wish to be with.

And my brother, what a weakling he's turning out to be. I see the way he allowed Mother to shape him. He wants the money, doesn't see that you can be happy without it.

Then there's the extended family. The only one other like me in the family is Andromeda. They call us the 'white sheep'. I know it's sad, but for them it's smart.

Black stands for evil; in muggle movies, the bad guy is always in black. Maybe that means my family were always destined to be that way. Not me, though… or Andromeda, thankfully.

I had a choice, to stay with them and learn their ways… or to get out while I could.

It wasn't difficult; I left. I made sure no one connected us; I moved in with James' family. I considered changing my name to Potter; after all James was my brother, my family.

I kept Black though, as a lasting insult to my family. One that was good and stood up for the 'little guy'; the side that was morally correct.

I can't wait for the day when people will say there goes the only good Black. I made my choice and I live by it.


	21. Newt Options

Choices

Choice twenty one: Lily

Who would have thought that five years at Hogwarts would pass so soon? I can't believe that I'm already sixteen, its seems like only yesterday I was eleven and standing on the platform for the first time.

Life has changed so much in that time and overall it's been a good change there's been some bad points along the way but overall I'd say it was good. I've spent most of the summer in Italy with Scarlett and it's been a great laugh.

It's beautiful here and if you had told me five years ago I'd be sitting on a terrace in Rome filling out forms for my advanced magical education I would have sent you to the loony bin but here I am.

I'm glad that I've come here to do it because I don't think I could have coped any other way trying to pick them back at home without Scarlett help because although my parents mean well they don't understand this world.

I spoke to Sevie yesterday and he's chosen his subjects already he's taking potions of course as his main subject after all it is his best, but he's also doing charms, transfiguration, defence against the dark arts and astronomy what a mix that will be.

Scarlett though has convinced her father to let her come back to Hogwarts for the last two years, which is great news because my best friend will be back. So we're filling in our subjects together.

She thinks I'm mad because I want to do potions, but I've improved on it and it really is the basics for most jobs, I've even convinced her to join me in the subject. Then we're both taking charms and transfiguration as the three together form the basics of all jobs.

Then I'm going to take arithmancy with my options because I love the subject and I've also decided on care of magical creatures because well I love those animals and Professor Kettleburn is really good.

Scarlett hates those subjects though and she's decided that the only ones for her are ancient runes and divination. It's going to be a great year because we're going to be back together and in some lessons together again.

Newt options is a big choice in our lives and it all comes down to what we want to do after we finish Hogwarts, I'm not sure what is to come but I know that I'm happy with my choice so far and what comes will come.

* * *

Annie if you actually do read this, its alright I managed to get the link to open but you're better off sending the next lot over in email format as the attachments aren't that reliable.

Kris


	22. Newt Options

Choices

Choice twenty two: James

_Professor McGonagall._

_After checking through the pamphlets that have been sent to me and checking my OWL results several times I have decided on which subjects I wish to take for NEWT levels. _

Isn't life surprising? Who would honestly thought that I would be sitting here picking subjects to take for my NEWTS? That means only two more years in Hogwarts to wind up other students and make the professors lives miserable.

I don't really mean that its just I'm a strong believer that you can't be a child forever and once I finish Hogwarts I will be a man, an adult and then I'll have to be serious and take care of myself, so its best to get these things out of my system early.

Although time is flying by I can see my life passing before my eyes already and what with the war the good times are soon going. But I'm still a kid and good times are still to come for me, I can feel it. The fact I passed all my OWLs is a good sign I can take anything I want. Oh so on with my letter.

_I'm sure that you will be thrilled to hear that I wish to take Transfiguration so that's another two years together._

I can just see her face reading this now, its no secret that I'm not her favourite student. Okay I'm good at transfiguration I am anAnimagi but she doesn't know that. It's the fact that Sirius and I like to flick bits of paper around the room that gets her.

Oh and the way that we convinced everyone to stand on their chairs and not sit on them when she came in, that was fun. Then there was the morning where we turned all the tables and chairs to face that back of the classroom, it's always fun to wind Minnie up!

_I also wish to continue with Charms_

Flitwick is going to love that; I'm behaved in his class. All right it is because I find it a bit on the tough side so need to pay attention more. Although he's all right with us having a laugh he quite enjoyed the time I put the silencing charm on Sirius for the entire lesson.

Then there was the lesson where I created snow and kept throwing it across the room until we had a massive snowball fight. He's a good teacher that's great for a laugh I'm sure I'll love carrying that on. Oh must finish letter.

_and Care of Magical Creatures._

This is going to be good. Kettleburn hates me, I mean hates I think it's the fact I let all the Thestrals out of their pen and it took days to find them since only those who have witnessed death can see them. I had so much fun with that, but it's a filler subject and I'm determined to pass it.

_I also wish to continue with Defence Against the Dark Arts since it is such an important subject especially at this time._

I always hated that subject it was Remus' one but its important now because we're at war and we need to know how to protect ourselves. Then there's also the fact that I want to be an Auror and I can't well do that without this subject can I.

_Lastly although it kills me to list it I will be taking potions that is if the Professor Cartwright doesn't keel over at the news._

I hate potions so much and it's not even as if I'm bad at the subject really. The thing is the professor is a bit well mean she hates me. I think it's because Sirius and I spread a rumour that she was close to sixty, but she only looks twenty-six.

She's gorgeous and all the guys fancy her and she's really biased against the girls, which makes for fun lessons and I'm sure she was checking me out at the end of last term. The rumour is that she finds a seventh year and seduces him each year.

I wouldn't mind being seduced by her really because she's fit it's just the fact that she isn't very discreet about it, she's really obvious when she wants you and I won't be used.

_I believe that the choices will do for the next coming year and that I shouldn't have problems taking them._

_James Potter_

I should have written looking forward to seeing you, but last time I did that she made a point to take points off me at the start of the year, you'd think that she didn't realise I love being there and seeing them all because it's the best place to be.

Well that's my subject choices out of the way now to write Sirius and compare. I'm happy with my choices and I'm already looking forward to starting them.

* * *

Okay so this chapter was up sooner than normal, but this chapter was ready.

**Annie** yeah most jobs must need DADA but I didn't want them all to have the same lessons, and plus at this time the war is only just taking shape so DADA isn't as important, but still is so, but Lily decided on the others ones to be more important.

**Karen** I'm so glad you reviewed because I couldn't find you on this place and now a direct link. You've already read this one but I hope you like it.

So more probably next week

Kris


	23. Newt Options

Choices

Choice twenty three: Sirius

_Jamie,_

_What took you so long to write I'm only at Remus' you fool! Did you write with love to Minnie, I did I can't wait to see what detention she gives me, she doesn't seem fond of that phrase or maybe its just me using it._

_I made my choices alright I put a list of the subjects on tiny pieces of paper and put them in my school hat and picked them out one at a time till I had five. Nah I'm only kidding, Remus stopped me he said it was a stupid idea since I'd be stuck with lessons and what if it was Divination I'd never make it through the year so I looked through the leaflets like a good boy and I've decided on a career._

_I know what I'm going to do I'm going to dishonour my family. I though what would be the worse job in the world for a Black and that was easy I'm going to be an Auror, or maybe a Healer. Okay so I haven't completely decided but at least that cuts down my options._

_I'm going to take, get this potions, shock horror or what! I can just see Professor Cartwright's face now when I turn up in that classroom. I'm going to sit in the front row and make faces at her. Oh I hope Snivellus is going to be in the class too because then we'll have a great time. I'm glad I won't be on my own though Cartwright might eat me whole._

_I wish like hell that I could see Minnie when she opens my letter because I've decided to do transfiguration, and you should see my reasons. I told her that I'm in love with her and can't bear to be parted. She's so giving me detention but its going to be worth it._

_Then I chose charms, it's like we're linked or something Jamie that's three for three. Okay so they are common ones but to be a Healer or an Auror I'll have to know charms so that's my reasoning for doing the subject but how would Flitwick cope if he didn't have us in his class he'd miss us so much._

_Then of course I've had to take defence against the dark arts because with my family its only time before they try to kill me and I'd like to be able to defend myself. Oh and there's also the fact that if I do decide on an Auror then I will need that subject and we can have fun in that lesson as well._

_Okay so then that leaves one subject and there's no difficulty in picking that one. I chose muggle studies and okay I know you're thinking why in Merlin's name would I take that but I think its interesting and plus I spoke to Jamelia Apple and she said that in sixth year we study muggle transport. That's cars, and aeroplanes and the motorbikes, I so want a motorbike, I'm going to get myself one when we finish._

_Anyway I'll be back in two days and I'll bring Remus with me. Is Peter joining us or is he still in Spain?_

_Si

* * *

_

Well lookie I posted yet again and this is my Sirius chapter. I hope that you like it, because its going to be a while until the next one, my exams start a week Saturday and so no more post until I've finished.

**Annie** Animagus/Animagi I hate defining it because some people think that Animagus is the plural and others think that Animagi is so I just picked one and put it in there, it might be the wrong one but you know what, I'm too lazy to change it, but thanks anyway.


	24. Newt Options

Choices

Choice twenty four: Remus

One of the hardest choices we ever have to make is what to do with our lives and most people think that decision takes place after Hogwarts. They are so wrong about that our future starts today not tomorrow.

I know I sound all weird but it's true the options we pick today will open the doors to a select number of careers but close doors to so many others. For example if I don't take care of magical creatures then I can never work with animals but if I take muggle studies then I can work in several different places.

It's really complicated but that means I really have to think about what subjects to do. I know I'm lucky because I'm good at most of the subjects with the exception of one or two that I find too dull. This meant that I really had to spend time thinking it over.

Well having Sirius stay was helpful because he gave me another take on all the subjects I chose but most importantly was the fact that I wanted to do the subjects.

First I picked defence against the dark arts. Now I know why Sirius took it and I have a strong idea why James took it, but for me there if a different reason. I'll never be an Auror I have no chance in that job because of my condition. But the fact that I have this condition means that I have to be able to protect myself, plus I want to be able to help keep my friends safe.

Then I've decided on transfiguration because it's interesting and McGonagall is pretty good it keeps my attention which is so important and I think that I'll be able to pass that subject. Then there is a good chance that I could use it in a career later on.

I'm also doing charms because well honestly Flitwick is a great teacher and I'm sure that I'll be able to pass that subject with his help and charms is one of those subjects that there is a lot of research going on with it which will be a good way for me to go.

Then I'm going to take history of magic. I know such a dull subject but its all research and by doing this subject not only will I learn about our past which will look good to any employer but it'll prove that I can do research.

My last choice though is ancient runes and you might ask why but I love it, its just one of those subjects that I've managed to get my teeth into and now I've started it I don't want to stop. It's a passion of mine, its something that is mine and nobody else's I mean Sirius and Peter have never done the subject and it just bored James.

So they're my choices and I'm happy with them, my future is completely up to me and now I've closed some doors but I've left enough open so I'll always have something to do.

* * *

**Karen **thanks for the review, I think you've read this one already but I have the next one up on the board.

I'll try to post next week, I have the next chapter ready but no promises

Kris


	25. Newt Options

Choices

Choice twenty five: Peter

Okay so I didn't get the best OWL results in the school, I knew that I wasn't going to get more than the guys but I was hoping for at least a few higher grades. I did get two O's mind in transfiguration and defence against the dark arts I bet that surprised everyone.

Transfiguration was a surprise mind I only passed because Remus did this amazing cram session with me and well I was lucky because the one thing I remembered came up in the exam and that's the only reason I passed.

As for defence against the dark art well I was even luckier in that one the question was how to spot a werewolf well if it hadn't been for Remus and our monthly adventures I would have completely failed.

Well since they were the only subjects that I had O's in I feel that I have to take them, so that really only left me with three other choices to take. I'm not too good at the whole book learning so I wanted subjects that should be fairly easy.

So of course Divination had to be a choice because come on all we do is fake what we see in that class. Okay so I might not pass it all that well but I'm pretty sure that I can get by well enough to pass that subject.

Oh and then I can take care of magical creatures. I love animals and they seem to love me too. I don't know if I'd say it will be an easy subject but I had an E in my OWL which is pretty good and I'm sure that at least one of the guys will be joining me in that lesson. They love winding Kettleburn up.

My last choice is going to be Astronomy. Its one of those subjects where you just have to learn from a book and I'm pretty sure I can do that one. I've never had any trouble in this subject in fact it's the only one where one of the guys doesn't have to help me.

I know that they aren't the best choice ever but it's difficult when you're not the smartest person but I've made my choice and that's good enough for me.

* * *

Okay I meant to post this earlier but I haven't been able to access this site in a couple of days, I'm not sure what's been going on, but here's the next chapter.

**Annie** of course Remus rocks, its Remus!

**Karen** I'm glad that you enjoy it even if you have to read them more than once.

**Cilverblood** Thank you for the review. I'm glad you like the way it was written, I know Lily and Remus as friends is unlikely, but I've made it so that after they both became prefects they had to spend time together and they kinda became friends as prefects not in everyday life if you understand.

Anyway one more exam left and then summer holiday so hopefully I'll update more often (if I can get on the site)

Kris


	26. Heads

Choices

Choice twenty six: Dumbledore

Another year has ended again and it's the summer holidays. I love watching my students leave knowing their going back to their families for some well deserved rest and the entire staff is happy when the pranksters leave for two months.

But what I hate is this is the time of year when I have to pick Head students and new prefects. It's always a difficult choice but at least I don't have to do it alone. The Head of Houses always give me a short list of students for prefects and that makes it a bit easier.

This year though is going to be a difficult choice for head students; there are so many likely candidates for the positions. This is always difficult and the fact that the other professors all have their views doesn't really help.

I've been given a short list two boys and two girls from each house and I always have to look through them all and pick the best for the role. So this year I think I'll start with the boys. From Slytherin I've been given Snape and Avery, Hufflepuff John and Shaw, Ravenclaw Dickens and Head and Gryffindor Lupin and Potter.

Okay so to start ruling them out I think I can safely say no to Avery he'll abuse any power he gets straight away he isn't the leader. Snape well that's a possibility. John he's too shy he wouldn't be able to stand up and make his point and as for Shaw nobody would listen to him.

Dickens he could possibly pull off the position but Head I don't think he'd be able to cope with the authority he'd have he cracks when he's given the task of handing out the homework sheets.

Lupin now this ones difficult he'd be good in the position but so would Potter. Okay so that's four candidates for Head Boy Snape, Dickens, Lupin and Potter. Okay so I'll leave that for the time being and move onto the girls.

From Slytherin well there's Inchbald and Napieralla, Ravenclaw Levin and Bird, Hufflepuff Lotus and Wood and Gryffindor Evans and Bacio. So now to whittle these down to four as well.

Inchbald well she's a good prefect but I'm not sure how she'd take being Head Girl, I've noticed the way that she already thinks herself better than the other prefects and I'm not sure if giving her this position will help matters.

As for Napieralla well she isn't Head Girl material I can't see her in charge of a group of prefects. Levin she is a possibility she has a good head and seems to be able to cope with stressful situations. Bird though I think she's afraid of power and authority she begged me before leaving in fourth year not to make her a prefect I have a feeling she wouldn't like to be Head Girl.

Lotus again she's a possibility she could handle the position but Wood she's afraid of work, I've seen the way she stares at her work and is forced to complete it by her friends I don't see her willingly doing more work than she has too.

Evans and Bacio now both would be good in the role but I think Bacio is looking for an easy time this year she just wants to survive I don't think she'd appreciate being Head Girl as much as Evans would.

So this year's short list looks as follows: Slytherin Snape, Ravenclaw Dickens and Levin, Hufflepuff Lotus and finally Gryffindor Lupin, Potter and Evans.

Okay so to whittle it down to one boy and girl is always harder and I can't ask the professors to help as they will chose those of their house and then I end up where I started so to chose. I wish that I could just put their names in a hat and pull out the names but then I wouldn't end up with the best.

Well lets start with Lupin I think the role would be good for him but I know that he doesn't like to upset people and the Head Boy must be willing to upset those around them without care. I think that he would try to prove himself and not be able to disappoint. As for Dickens he's too nice as well. He likes to make friends and not enemies and I'm not sure if he'd be willing to say no to those around him.

Potter well he's willing to argue with people, he can get on with them too. It would be good for him to have a few responsibilities too as then he wouldn't be able to cause so much trouble, but would he be willing to work with others.

Snape now again he doesn't mind upsetting people in fact I think he's happier when people are upset. Although there is the problem with the fact that most of the student body would probably be too afraid to speak to him and those that aren't afraid would just cause more trouble.

Okay so to decide, I think it will have to be Potter. He needs to wake up to responsibility and he can handle it. He's popular so the student body will listen to what he has to say but he doesn't mind disagreements with people as well so he should be fair and he has a brain so yes James Potter will be Head Boy.

That also gives the advantage that I don't have to find anymore male prefects as Lupin is the Gryffindor one so he can keep that position and then we will still have Snape, Head and John for the other houses.

Now this causes another problem for Head Girl it has to be somebody that will stand up to Potter and won't just go along with what he says. The girl will have to be head strong, smart and willing to work hard and be fair.

Okay so the three girls I have left are Lotus, Levin and Evans. Well all three have similar qualities and all could easily be Head Girl and have no trouble with it, except for the matter of working with Potter.

Lotus I've seen the way she looks at Potter I don't think she'd stand up to him she'd let him have his way at all times which would make the position worthless. Then there's Levin now they won't speak, they won't even stay in the same room together which will make it hard having her work close with Potter,

Evans though well she and Potter don't get along, she stands up to him and tells him what he doesn't want to hear. She doesn't let him get away with anything and that's what we need for Head Girl. Lily Evans will show Potter what for. Although that means we know need a new prefect for Gryffindor girls, well I think Bacio will take that position happily.

So there we go I've finally made my choices and I think they will work out this year. The seventh year prefects will be as follows: Slytherin Snape and Inchbald, Hufflepuff John and Lotus, Ravenclaw Dickens and Levin and for Gryffindor Lupin and Bacio.

As for the Head positions this year both will fall to Gryffindors with James Potter acting as Head Boy and Lily Evans as Head Girl. I believe this year is going to be one to remember.

* * *

I know this is like one of the longest chapters for choices and you'll probably not find another one this long for a while.

**Annie **yes Remus ROCKS he's the best.

Anyway enjoy this chapter

Kris


	27. Friendships

Choices

Choice twenty seven: Lily

I'm Head Girl, I mean I'm Head Girl. It's fantastic I was at home with Scarlett when the owl came and I couldn't stop bouncing around the room it was so funny, it was even something that my parents understood, which is always great in my mind.

From among my eagerness I heard Scarlett yelling that she made prefect, she took my job and we just started bouncing all over again. Dad handed us both glasses that he filled up with wine and that night we went out for a special meal in a posh restaurant and we had champagne it was just brilliant.

Then of course I sent Sevie and owl and told him, he was a bit upset I think that he didn't make Head Boy but he was still very happy for me. But that left me thinking who was Head Boy. I thought of sending an owl to Remus but held back wanting to tell him the news in person and let him tell me in person if he was Head Boy.

Well when we got to the platform I found Remus almost instantly, he was standing over in a corner with Black and Potter two of the most annoying guys I've ever met in my life. I guessed they were waiting for Pettigrew to arrive.

Anyway I grabbed hold of Scarlett and ran over to them and stopping right behind Remus, Black winked at me. I scowled as Remus turned around and hugged him, I saw the surprise on both Potter and Blacks faces but I just smiled at Remus and showed him my badge. He hugged me again but I could see that he wasn't Head Boy because he had on his prefect badge.

Well we got on the train and Scarlett and I went to the prefect's carriage and I swear I thought I was going to die when I saw Potter standing there. Yep that's right guess who was made Head Boy it all started to go down hill from there.

Strange thing though Potter wasn't as annoying as he always seemed to be before. He didn't bug me but sat with me and had in depth conversations about all sorts. We were doing a few similar subjects, well transfiguration, charms, potions and care of magical creatures. In fact the only difference is that he has chosen defence against the dark arts while I decided on arithmancy.

We spent hours discussing homework and I have to admit he is excellent at transfiguration he managed to explain Animagi to me which was something I was struggling with and in return I helped him with a few charms he was finding difficult.

It was strange really all that time we wasted fighting about stupid things when we could have been friends. Yep that's right I'm not sure when it happened but James Potter became my friend and it wasn't just James it was Sirius and Peter as well.

I was always told that if you could count the number of friends you had on one hand you were lucky I guess that I am lucky because now I have some great friends and if I hadn't have been made Head Girl I would never have known.

I can't believe that I had never gotten to know the boys before but once James and I started working together I chose to get to know them all and now I'm happy to say that I have three new great friends and Remus was right all those times he told me they were great people. I can't wait now to learn even more about them.


	28. Friendship 2

Choices

Choice twenty eight: James

Okay so there I was on the train to Hogwarts sitting in the prefect's compartment and I swear that everyone was staring at me like I was a complete fraud. Remus was there making me laugh with his comments that he was muttering under his breath but we had to wait until the Head Girl arrived.

That's right Lily Evans little miss perfect was late. I couldn't really believe it she was never late but then the door opened and she walked in with Scarlett. I was wondering what Scarlett was doing here and then it hit me Lily was Head Girl not prefect so they needed another seventh year Gryffindor for that and she was really the only choice when you look at the Gryffindor girls.

Lily's face was a picture though when she saw me, I honestly thought she was going to die I had to hold in all this laughter and Remus could tell that I was holding it all in so he stood up and said a stupid joke and I just laughed.

It was a good thing that Scarlett had found it funny too otherwise I would have looked even more the fool, not that I'm much of one really. Anyway we had this meeting and all the while Lily was sending me daggers with her gorgeous eyes.

Well as the weeks passed I tried really hard to get to know her and I was trying. I stopped flirting with her and had conversations instead. We had loads in common because of our option choices and loads of differences that kept our conversations fun.

She taught me quite a bit mind especially with charms which I was finding difficult but she also taught me about muggle things especially books and I have to say I read a few of them and although they didn't have any Quidditch or unusual pranks they were good.

In return though I taught her about Quidditch, its weird really she had been in the wizarding world for seven years and nobody had taught her about Quidditch, well we had fun. I even had her play with us, of course Sirius fell off his broom, the boy has no balance but it was fun.

Lily fitted in with us so well she became a good friend and with her came Scarlett it was so much fun having two girls added to the mix. We'd always said that we wouldn't let girls come in between us and we weren't they were becoming part of us.

Lily was great with Sirius as well she really helped him with her his muggle studies. I don't know what changed really maybe it was the fact that I was made Head Boy, or the fact that Lily was forced to work with me.

What ever the cause I'm glad that I chose to get to know her because she has become one of the best friends I've ever had.

* * *

Okay so another chapter and I'd just like to say thanks to **DavidLopin** for that lovely review and I hope that you will enjoy the rest of the story 


	29. Dating 2

Choices

Choice twenty nine: Lily

_Dear Diary_

_I'm a bad person, so very bad. I need to be punished. I love Severus I really do and although it's a secret relationship I wouldn't change it for the world. We have so much in common and I love spending whatever time I can with him. But I don't know if it's enough I want to be with someone all the time not in secret but I still love him and oh my head hurts just thinking about it. And things are worse I've gotten a small crush on James, but that doesn't mean anything does it. I've gotta go and think._

_Diary,_

_You won't believe what happened. I caught Scarlett kissing Remus out on the Quidditch pitch. It was so funny they jumped when James coughed and pulled apart looking so red. They were so busted but they're cute together so we left them to it and decided to go back to the Quidditch pitch later. Oh why you must be thinking but you see we're having a winter ball this year to try and cheer up the students. There's been so much death that a lot of people are afraid to go home, so we're having a Christmas winter ball in the Quidditch field for all those staying behind._

_Diary,_

_Things are getting bad. Severus is jealous of all the time I'm spending with James. They don't get on at all and I know it's because of a prank that Sirius played on him in fifth year although he won't tell me what that prank was. I've promised to spend time with Severus but I still need to spend time with James because he's the Head Boy and we're organising this ball together. He'll understand I'll just have to get him a great Christmas present._

_D,_

_Okay now I know I'm the worse girlfriend in the entire world, muggle and wizard alike. I've been telling Sevie that he has nothing to worry about and I go and cheat on him. I'm too upset to explain it now._

_Diary,_

_Okay so I've explained the whole winter ball thing to you and well James and I told all the prefects to go and get ready for the ball earlier even though the decorations hadn't been finished. James and I rushed around and tried to finish it in time and we just about managed it. I was so happy that we managed it that I hugged him, which is alright because we're friends its allowed. But then the thing is I kissed him, and I mean I was the one doing the kissing. I kinda just gave him a peck on the lips and he pulled back but I couldn't control myself and I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to me and I kissed him. Then I ran off and I should be at the ball but I can't see him or Sevie. Oh great Scarlett has just turned up she's going to make me go to the ball._

_Diary,_

_Okay so I ended up going see I told you I would didn't I. It was a fun night I'll admit that I danced with Remus loads and then with Sirius a bit. Scarlett and I had a few fun dances and I danced with Peter, he's really good I'm sure he's had lessons. James asked me to dance and I did dance with him once but it was really awkward._

_I found Sevie then and we danced but then I had to find Dickens and John and I made it look like it was a prefect thing. Sevie and I slipped away though and I give him his Christmas present and then I was called on the small stage by Dumbledore and he thanked me and James and made us dance together. It was really awkward but then I danced with Sirius some more and it was fun._

_Diary,_

_Okay so it's been three days and things aren't getting any easier and it's worse yet, I have a bigger crush on James now than before. But I still love Sevie and yet I'm cheating on him like mad. I mean well we had a prefects meeting today to thank everyone for the hard work and once they left it was just me and James and well, we ended up making out. I can't believe it._

_Diary,_

_Scarlett has found out about me and James. I can't believe the look on her face. She doesn't like Sevie at all but she understands that I do but when she found out about what I've been doing she was mad. She said that I shouldn't do things like this at all. So I went to Sevie and I told him that I kissed James and that it was a mistake and that I loved him and it wouldn't happen again. I think he forgave me, but I'm sure he won't if it ever happens again._

_Diary,_

_James has asked me out! I can't believe it, and I said yes. Sevie is going to go mad. But I like them both so much so I made James swear not to tell anyone. Okay so I know that isn't going to work because Sirius was standing next to him. He looked a little hurt and all but I told him that I didn't want to be gossip, and he seemed to understand, he even got Sirius to swear. I know that this is wrong of me but I can't help it, it wasn't my choice to fall for Sevie or James but I have chosen to be with both of them._


	30. Death Eater

Choices

Choice thirty: Snape

Emotions are a weakness that's what I have always been told by father you should never show it as then others will know you're only human and you don't want to be seen as an equal to commoners.

There is a technique that father taught me to do if ever you feel an emotion write it down along with whatever else is bothering you and burn the paper and then all emotions and problems will leave you. So here I go

_First my girlfriend is a muggleborn witch. She is beneath me she is not my equal and yet I can't get her out of my head. I know that I shouldn't be with her she isn't pure but yet there is something there something that I can't control I think I've fallen in love with her._

_But she has shown her true colours now she is a two timing cheater, she kissed another guy. No not just any guy but Perfect Potter the Head Boy. I'm better than him he just thinks he's all that but he'll be more hated than any other person when he leaves, you can't stay popular forever._

_But I can't help but forgive Lily looking into her eyes I know that I'll do anything for her so I've forgiven her this time, but if she ever does it again she'll pay for it, she'll pay big time for the pain that she causes me._

_My second point though is that I don't know what to feel. I've always been told never to think of myself as below anybody I'm better than everyone else but now I'm being told that I must think of myself as a follower, a follower to Lord Voldemort._

_I received a letter today from Lucius Malfoy; he was a Slytherin here but graduated when I was in my second year. The Dark Lord has decided he wants me in his ranks. I'm going to join fully when I leave Hogwarts but the fact that I'm joining at all is another problem._

_You see we are trying to rid the world of the impure which is the mudbloods and half bloods and that includes Lily. I love her but this is what my life is this is what I'm expected to do and I am going to be a fully fledged Death Eater._

There my feelings are written down and I don't feel any better for it but I have to burn it. Watching the parchment burning has a good feeling and everything that I've let build up is bubbling away.

I guess at the end of the day my future is my own choice and I want to keep seeing Lily but I also want to rid the world of the impure with the exception of her. I am going to be a Death Eater and that is my final choice.

* * *

Thanks for the reviews everyone I'll try to post again before HBP is released but not sure if I'll be able too. Oh and for the person who asked there are 65 chapters to this story. 


	31. Job

Choices

Choice thirty one: Lily

I can't believe it Hogwarts is officially over. I cried so much on the train ride home I just couldn't believe that we'd finished our school life. It feels like only yesterday we started at the school and now it's over.

Scarlett's father found her an apartment in a place called Godric's Hollow. It's lovely I went to stay with her when we finished and it's just so lovely. It's in a wizarding community and the houses are mixed between modern and old styled. She has a Victorian styled one with large bay windows.

Downstairs there's a massive living area with an old fashioned fireplace which is great for the floo network. Then there's a modern muggle style kitchen that's just as big with a large table in there. Upstairs she has a fabulous bathroom and two bedrooms.

Well when I got there and saw it I fell in love with the place and before either of us realised Scarlett and I were flat mates and its great. I know that it was originally going to be her and Sapphie's place but we're having a great time here.

The boys have found a Tudor styled house just around the corner from us which is great because the six of us can meet up whenever although I've still got to be really sneaky what with dating James and Severus. I really should choose between them but I love them both so much.

Anyway that's the least of my problems at the moment I need a job. It's really not that funny because I've been thinking long and hard about what I want to do. I sent in lots of applications but I can't decide.

Sevie isn't getting a job, he's going to be a man of leisure he says, but I don't believe him. I know that he's doing something but he says it more of a hobby he's really busy making potions all day everyday but it's up to him.

Scarlett has started a job too she's an unspeakable, well at least a trainee one. I don't know what that is though she won't tell me. She has said though that it's a job within the ministry and she's working in the Department of Mysteries.

I asked her about it the other day and all she said is that she loves it there and Homer John he was the Hufflepuff prefect he's working there with her. She's enjoying it and I suppose that's all that matters.

I feel like a lay about not doing anything, but I've looked through all these pamphlets and I had a letter back today. I'm going back to school! Okay so it's not Hogwarts I'll admit but it's the Academy of Saint Mungos it's where they train the Healers. I'm going to be a Healer or a medi-witch as Sirius always calls them.

I've thought long and hard about this and when I was little I always wanted to be a doctor. In fact when I started Hogwarts I still wanted to be a doctor and that passion or ambition has never left me and this is the closest to a doctor as I'll ever be. I think that it's the right choice for me and I'm not going to look back.

* * *

Okay so thanks for all the reviews so far it's really nice of you all. Since HBP is coming out on Saturday I won't post until probably the end of next week after I'm done with the book, but afterwards this may have to be slightly altered to fit in with the plot or I might make it AU, but no post till after the new book

Kris


	32. Job 2

Choices

Choice thirty two: James

Finally Hogwarts is over with; it's kinda sad but cool at the same time. I'm a man, I'm not living at my parents home anymore I'm out on my own and I'm scared stiff. Well a little anyway because now I haven't got a security blanket there's nothing for me to fall back on.

Worse of it is that I now have to grow up. I'm serious about this I'm no longer going to be the care free boy I was in Hogwarts. I'm still going to have a laugh and I can pull pranks on the boys since we're all living together but its time I step up to the plate.

I've been thinking long and hard about what I'm going to do now that I've left Hogwarts. I've had conversations with Lily looking at my strengths and what I could do with them and my parents have helped to decide what I could do and Minnie and Al were great helps too.

I was thinking about being a Quidditch star the Cannons approached me and tried to sign me but I wasn't too sure about it. I know it's a great career and I'd make a ton of money but I'm already rich my parents set up a trust fund in my name so I don't really need the money.

I know that Quidditch is my love, my passion but I want to make a difference in this world and we're crying out for people to help in the war and I spoke to my father long and hard about it. We made a decision together that Quidditch isn't the job for me, although the cannons begged and I mean begged and I'm now reserve so if something happens to Smith I'll play but not first string.

My mother wanted me to be an unspeakable like her father, and his father and I must admit I looked into it but I have no idea what the job is and I've learnt over the years that surprised aren't all that good. Plus there's the added fact that I'm not very good at keeping secrets, I tell Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily everything. Although I suppose I could talk to Scarlett about it but it's not for me.

But finally after a month of looking into it I met Alastor Moody. He's a friend of Al's and since Al is a great man he set up a meeting for us. So I went back to Hogwarts and I was in the Headmasters office and Al walked in with Moody.

After five minutes I was signed up to Auror training. I knew that it was something that I wanted to do for as long as I could remember, but I knew it was dangerous and since Sirius wasn't doing it I wasn't sure I wanted to, but I am now.

It's a great career choice I'll be out fighting Death Eaters and keeping everyone safe, I don't think any of the other choices would have suited me. I'm happy with this one and it's going to be so much fun doing this job.

* * *

Okay just in case you haven't worked it out Minnie is McGonagall and Al is Dumbledore, I can't picture James or Sirius for that matter calling them by their proper names so from now on they'll be referred to as Minnie and Al in the chapters from those pov's. 


	33. Job 3

Choices

Choice thirty three: Sirius

Blacks don't need jobs, that's what father always told me. Why should we bother breaking our back when there are other people who are willing to do the work for us? I always knew he meant that the poor people should work to make money and the rich should sit back and watch.

But then I'm not your typical Black am I. I wanted to work, I've always liked the idea of having a job because it'll keep me busy during the day and of course as Remus keeps telling me it will keep me out of trouble.

So when I left Hogwarts I started to think about my career, I knew I needed one because hello disowned so not getting any of the Black fortune. Anyway I had decided on two careers that I wanted to do.

I could be an Auror because then I'd get to fight against all the evil that my family stood for plus it's an adventurous job. I can just see me running around in the middle of a fight throwing hexes to stop the bad guys think of the fun I'd have. Oh and the girls! Girls love a dangerous man, and I'll be in danger and when I get injured, nothing serious of course, all the medi-witches will be over me because I'll be the wounded hero.

I like that idea so much but there was always another career that I had planned for and that was as a Healer. Okay so it's not as adventurous as the Auror position but it's still a good job. Think about it the injured women come in and I'm the hero who saves their lives, I'd so get a date that way. Oh and over seventy-five percent of Healers are witches, so think of all the lovely women that would be around me.

Okay so maybe they aren't the best of reasons to take a job but the more I thought about it the more I knew I wanted to help people. I really considered becoming an Auror but I have too many ties to the dark side. I know that should be a reason to join but then those in authority could say that I'm passing information over to them if we are going through a bad patch.

That left a Healer and that idea actually had me excited. I know that people see me as a mess around but I can be serious and very hard working and a Healer will help in this war because we have a lot of injuries.

My first day was brilliant we had an introduction class and there are twelve of us in this year group and they're not all my age and they're not all from Hogwarts. I walked in and Nancy Bottlebee was sat there. She was in Ravenclaw my year group and her face when she saw me was hysterical I thought she was going to chock and fall off her chair.

The only other person there that I knew was Lily and she just laughed at the way I staggered in as if I owned the place. Clearwater who is like the main man in the Healer circles was going to teach us and he was laughing at me. I sort of moved over took Lily's hand and screamed we're going to be Healers and started dancing around.

There's no other male in my class, there are five girls from Beauxbaton and two American witches and then the last two witches are three years older. It's quite fun being the only guy in the class and I'm glad that I made the choice to be a Healer because its more fun than any other job I can think of.


	34. Job 4

Choices

Choice thirty four: Peter

So I didn't do all that well in my NEWTs I did pass them all well except Divination but I didn't pass very well. That meant that lots of doors were slammed shut in my face from the word go. I knew that I couldn't be a paper pusher and I'm not smart enough for Auror training like James, or to become a Healer like Sirius and Lily and I hate surprises so an unspeakable like Scarlett just frightens me.

I got a job in a café in Diagon Alley and it was okay lots of people to talk to good money plus I got to keep tips on top of my normal pay. Then there was the fact that James and a few of the other trainee Aurors use to spend their breaks in there so I had company. Only thing was I kept messing up the orders. All the coffees looked alike and I lost the job.

So then I got a job in Flourish and Blotts the book store and that was alright. Okay it was rather stuffy in there but I was always busy because everybody always wanted a book. The pay wasn't too bad either okay I didn't get tips like in the café but it was pretty good. But then me being me I fell over and knocked over one of the bookcases causing all the books to go everywhere, and we had to close the shop for the day, they didn't want me back after that.

But I got another job okay I went to work in the Leaky Cauldron. I had to show people to their rooms and serve in the bar. It was a pretty good job I enjoyed it the gang use to come in every night after work and hang out. I just forgot the main rule; I wasn't allowed to get drunk. Yep Tom wasn't happy with that so another job gone.

Then James convinced his mother to let me work in her restaurant, he said that I was reliable but just unsure of what I wanted to do so she gave me a job. I lasted two days; I kept putting my fingers in people's food, by accident. Then I got the tables mixed up and dropped all the plates. But she was nice about it; she paid me two weeks notice and didn't even take the broken plates from my wages.

Scarlett stepped up then she got me a job in the Ministry as the security guard. That was a pretty good job but then I let the Death Eaters into the building, but I didn't know that Malfoy was a Death Eater, at the time. I found out afterwards but that meant I lost another job again. I was beginning to see a pattern.

But then my dad stepped up, his best friend was the coach for the Falcons and he got me a job there. Okay so I wasn't going to be a Quidditch player I'm not good enough for that I can fly but I'm not comfortable having to take my hands off the broom.

So I became equipment manger and I love the job so much. It's really great actually. I'm in charge of maintaining the team's brooms which is okay because I can do that. I clip the tails and polish them up make sure they hover alright and if something is wrong I take them back to the manufacture.

Then I have to make sure nobody messes with the balls and I'm pretty good at that, I have to make sure the beaters bats are firm and that the pitch is kept in good condition. There are perks to the job too I get to go to every game to make sure nothing is wrong with the equipment.

Okay so it's not the best job in the world and it's not as important as the jobs my friends have but I love what I do. If I had to choose all over again I would make the same choice because I've learnt that I'm not suited to a lot of jobs.


	35. Job 5

Choices

Choice thirty five: Remus

I hate who I am I really do. In Hogwarts I was safe because Dumbledore took care of me. I was always grateful for what he had done for me but until now I didn't understand how much he had done. He educated me when he could have shunned me and he gave me an education that could give me a good start in life.

For as long as I can remember I have always been fascinated by books and from about the age of six I knew that I wanted to be a teacher, I wanted to learn everything I could about this world and pass on the knowledge to others to help them to understand.

My time in Hogwarts just increased this ambition seeing my teachers pass their knowledge on encouraged me to want to do the same. I use to tutor Peter in the subjects and nobody found it surprising when I helped James and Sirius. There were others I tutored as well like Sally Pin-Weather who couldn't get her head around Defence Against the Dark Arts.

But everyday that passed I grew more conscious of the fact this was probably going to be a pipe dream, one of those things that would never materialise. I mean who would ever want a werewolf for a teacher. I know that Dumbledore would probably give me a chance in a few years if I told him that it is what I wanted but I can't ask him for any more.

So I am having a tough time out of Hogwarts and it's my friends again who have supported me, they've rallied around and come through. James and Sirius are very sure of themselves and have already started their training and they are taking care of my share of the bills, which is something that embarrasses me to no end.

I do my share to help, I'm the cleaner I tidy up everything in the house I even do quite a bit of cooking but I don't mind I need to do it to feel like I'm pitching in. It was one of these days that I was cleaning when James' father turned up to see him, of course James was out with Lily and I was home on my own.

His face when he saw me was so funny, I think he was surprised that any one of us knew what bleach was. But his face came over serious and he asked how my job hunt was going and I couldn't lie and told him it wasn't. He made me sit down and said that James had spoken to him about me and I was quite angry.

It turned out James told him I have a condition that a lot of wizarding kind hold against me and is why I can't get a job but he is a good man is James' father. In fact he is head of the Prophet he's the editor and he said that he was looking for a researcher.

I remember telling him I couldn't take a job off him, that there were laws saying that I couldn't but he wouldn't' listen. I quickly told him what I was and he shook his head a little and said that explained my problem. Then he reached out his hand and offered me the position as a researcher on his paper.

I couldn't turn it down I really didn't have a choice and even if I had had a choice I wouldn't have rejected this offer. It's a good job for me researching and I am forever grateful for everything the Potter's have done for me, I'll never be able to pay them back.


	36. Order 2

Choices

Choice thirty six: Lily

Dark times are on us, its no secret. Hard times have hit us and I have to admit that while I was in Hogwarts I was sheltered from the bad in this world. Voldemort is growing more powerful with each passing day and his followers are increasing.

I remember a conversation I had with Sevie only a few days ago. I asked him about Voldemort and he flinched and yelled at me not to call him that. His reaction really surprised me it was like he was hiding something I just don't know what. He won't talk about it with me.

So I turned to James and asked him and unsurprisingly he wasn't happy but he did tell me what he knew. As a trainee Auror he seems more aware than some would think. There have been a number of attacks by Death Eaters, Voldemort's followers. Now isn't a safe time.

What really scares me is the fact that these are the people responsible for Sapphire's death; they killed Scarlett's sister and mother. But almost worse is the fact that they seem to be targeting muggleborn and half blood witches and wizards. This really scares me because of my background.

According to Sirius there are a number of dark families involved in Voldemort's plans and he states that the Blacks are all part of it. This has left me wondering if Sevie is part of it, I can't get it around my head maybe he is one of those Death Eaters. He tells me not to be stupid why would he want to kill muglgeborns when he's in love with one, but I'm not sure.

I feel useless as if I'm not doing anything; there are so many people who aren't strong enough to stand up to Voldemort. James has told me to stop being silly that I am helping by becoming a healer but I felt that wasn't good enough.

Yesterday I met with Albus Dumbledore its strange that I don't see him daily anymore, but its nearly Christmas of my first year out of Hogwarts and it was about time I saw him again. He came to the house and sat me and Scarlett down.

He told us everything he could about Voldemort and why he would want to hurt us, I'm a muggleborn so that's a gimme but Scarlett is sympathetic to muggles and so she too is a target not that she needed reminding.

He told us of an organisation that he has set up, he calls it Order of the Phoenix as soon as he said it Scarlett and I both grinned and said Fawkes. The Order is a group of witches and wizards who oppose Voldemort. Some are very powerful such as Dumbledore and some are influential. Apparently some are very low and would seem like people who would follow Voldemort and they are good for spies.

We got given a choice yesterday whether we would like to be part of the Order. It's dangerous I know that and there's every chance we'll be killed before the war is over but I had to join. It wasn't as big a choice as some would think my conscience told me that I had to do something to help and I am. The hardest thing is going to be keeping it a secret from Sevie and James but I won't spill this secret.


	37. Order 3

_This chapter is dedicated to the memory of a friend of mine who died a year ago yesterday. Rest in Peace for all eternity Katie._

Choices

Choice thirty seven: James

My parents always raised me to see the good in people and not to judge and that is how I'm trying to live my life. My friends are my friends because we get on it doesn't matter about their background. When I look at them though we are an odd bunch.

I'm a Potter, pureblood and rich my family have been influential in politics for centuries and are very well respected. We're known as 'good' and have always backed away from people like the evil wizard Voldemort who judges based on blood.

My best friend though is a Black and again that means he's a pureblood and rich, his family have always been influential in politics and are well respected. The only difference is that they are the complete opposite to my family all evil to the core, well except a handful of which Sirius is included.

Then there is Remus, he's a half blood what with the fact his mother was a muggleborn. He's smart and funny but holds a dark secret, the fact he's a werewolf. People don't trust werewolves and there are a lot of stories that the werewolves are on Voldemort's side and yet not Remus.

Then we have Peter he's a weakling but yet he isn't. He isn't the strongest of wizards but he does have strength how else could he become Wormtail. His problem is he lacks confidence he hangs back and is content to hide in the shadow.

Then there are the two girls, Lily a muggleborn but one of the most powerful witches I've ever met and Scarlett as a Bacio she's a pureblood and a part of a powerful Italian family. Really when you look at us all as individuals we shouldn't mix and yet we do.

I think it's because we're all so open minded we don't care about blood we only care about personalities and the people. This trait has always made me want to bash Voldemort over the head with something really hard and heavy.

During training in the ministry I learnt a lot more than maybe I should about Voldemort. Like the fact he's gaining more influence among younger people that he has more followers than ever before. That he is one step closer to getting what he wants.

It was a surprise really when Moody made me stay after training one day. He allowed everyone else to wonder off and kept me behind. I sat down on the chair he pointed me to and just waited.

He left the room and I began to think this was some sort of test and then he returned with Al. Al looked at me and smiled in that same way he always had when I'd been caught doing something I shouldn't have.

Then I got a surprise the pair told me about an organisation to try and defeat Voldemort. Apparently they don't trust the ministry to do everything in its powers and they're suspicious of traitors. They asked me to join.

What was I to say, I've been raised to be against everything Voldemort stands for so I made my choice. I stuck my hand out to the two men and told them I was in. I know this is going to be dangerous and I have to be quiet about it but I'm glad I've been given the chance to make a difference.


	38. Order 4

Choices

Choice thirty eight: Sirius

As a Black certain things were always expected of me and they were things I hated. I was always expected to behave in the ways of a gentleman. I was to be sly and cunning and use the people close to me to get what I wanted. But the most important rule was to think myself better than everyone else because I'm of pureblood.

It's all a load of codswallop I'm sure of that. My family like to think themselves better than everyone else and yet they follow in the footsteps of another, doing his bidding and see themselves as below him. Strange isn't it especially is you know the truth about this wizard that he is in fact a half blood not even pure.

I hated that life though I don't see what blood has to do with it, I have two pureblood friends and three non-pureblood and it doesn't make a difference. Purity of blood doesn't make you any better at what you do it just means that your ancestors did the same thing.

But even though I've turned my back on the family I can't completely rid myself of them. News reaches me daily of new attacks on those who appose their views and I always wonder if they're going to come after me next.

I'm not too worried about myself but the idea of them going for my friends to get to me. I feel the need to do something to help I want to get out there and fight them but since I'm going to be a Healer that is very unlikely.

Although I received an Owl from Hogwarts this morning it said that I was needed up the school right away. I couldn't work out why they would want me there; I mean it's not as if I had caused any lasting damage. But then Regulus is still there so I thought maybe it was something to do with him. How wrong could I be?

I entered the Great Hall and found Al and Minnie sitting at the top table, I waved happily at them and Al stood up and walked towards me. The Gryffindors cheered when they saw me and I went to the table and slapped Charlie Shire on the back, he's captain of the Quidditch team now that James has left.

Al took me up to the office and I wasn't surprised that nothing had changed, every year it had always looked the same and I've got a feeling it won't change until they get a new Head teacher but that should be years away yet.

He told me of a special organisation that he was head of the Order of the Phoenix and he asked me to join. That surprised me I mean I know I'm a good wizard but most people judge me on my family.

I sat there for a few moments and I made my mind up, there was no choice really I wanted to help get rid of Voldemort and show people I'm not like my family so I made my decision I joined Al and his Order. I know that it will be dangerous but that makes it even more appealing because if I am to die I want to die trying to help the world and not hiding away in a corner.


	39. Order 5

Choices

Choice thirty nine: Peter

I scare easily anybody that knows me isn't surprised by that. I want to be different though I don't want to be seen as somebody who can't stand up for himself forever. The tides of the world are changing and it's unclear who's going to win.

I see my friends getting on with life and seemingly not being affected by the evil that is slowly circling over us and coming closer. I'm impressed with the way they are I can't imagine not being scared.

I was home alone last week Remus was at some office party with James' dad; James had taken Lily out for a meal while Sirius was out with the girls from work. I was sat at the table a list of the latest brooms in front of me when someone appeared in our kitchen.

Dumbledore was smiling kindly at me as he took the seat opposite. I couldn't work out why he was here and I quickly told him everyone was out and he nodded as if he knew that already. He looked at me closely and asked what was wrong.

I told him that I was scared, I didn't know why I did it but I did. I told him that I couldn't understand why everyone else seemed to be alright with the darkness that was falling over us that I felt alone in my fear.

What surprised me was Dumbledore's reply. He told me that everyone fears what they can't control. He explained that everyone in the wizarding world was afraid but we all had our own ways of coping.

What made me laugh though was that Dumbledore said his way of coping was to go tenpin bowling. I didn't know what it was and so he told me to put my shoes on. He took me to the muggle world and we went tenpin bowling. I have to admit it is a lot of fun trying to hit those pins down with the ball.

After we played and Albus beat me very badly he took me to a place to eat. We had a pizza between us and I couldn't believe that I had gone out with Albus Dumbledore it was a strange feeling.

He then very quietly told me of this organisation that he had set up to try and fight the evil and he told me that he wanted me to join. I was surprised I'm nothing, I can't do anything right but suddenly I understood. This was a choice to stop fearing the unknown and to try and help. I don't know what I will bring to the arrangement but I will do everything I can to help.


	40. Order 6

Choices

Choice forty: Remus

I'm not important I'm just a man who is trying to make the best of a bad situation. I know that people who don't know me that well look at me and wonder what's going on in my life. Mr Potter has been great to me giving me a job but the other researchers seem to think there is a motive behind that job.

Then there are those that I trust they see me for who I truly am and don't judge and I know that I am extremely lucky to have such good friends. But part of me is always thinking that this is just too good that something bad is going to happen.

We are in dark times and the prophet has recently written an article on Voldemort, Mr Potter had to allow his writer to publish it even if it isn't a hundred percent true. He talks about the followers of Voldemort and how all the dark creatures are following him, and he's included werewolves.

This is something that has been weighing me down, werewolves are likely to follow him because he only wants rid of the people who aren't pureblood. Werewolves have had such a raw deal under wizarding law that they feel Voldemort is the way to go. Part of me thinks that and then I think of my friends and know I'd rather live a hard life free of Voldemort than an easy life under him.

I know that people who don't know me will think that due to my condition I'm on Voldemort's side but I really don't care. As long as my friends know the truth I'll be happy. It's not only my friends that know the truth though Dumbledore is still helping me out.

He came to the office yesterday and found me. He pulled me to one side and told me he wanted my help. I owe him so much I don't think I would ever say no to him. But then he explained what he had in mind, the Order of the Phoenix.

I've heard of this Order there have been mumbles about it around the office trying to work out who was involved in it, nobody could seem to name anybody. People did believe that Dumbledore had a part in it but nobody knew the truth.

I was given a choice I could join this Order and try to help defeat Voldemort. This wasn't that big a choice for me, because although the wizarding world shuns me due to what I am I'd rather live in a world where I'm shunned than one where Voldemort is in control.


	41. Switiching

Choices

Choice forty one: Peter

For six months I've been involved in the Order of the Phoenix and its one of the best decisions I've ever made. Along with all my friends and some new ones we're getting information on Death Eaters to try and stop the evil lord.

But something has happened and maybe it shouldn't have. I'm still as weak as I ever was, I don't see myself as anything good. My friends they are strong and they're heroes me I'm just a tag along. I use to follow them in Hogwarts and now I follow them around in the real world.

Things though are changing so much and as much as nobody wants to admit it we're losing the war. As many Death Eaters as we take there are always more to take their place. No matter what happens every June Dumbledore releases newly qualified witches and wizards to the world and a number join the forces of Voldemort.

My world too is changing and everything that I once believed in is now altered. The coach of the falcons is a man named Arthur, Arthur Meriwether. When I joined I didn't know of his background or anything about his political beliefs but I do now.

He cornered me along with three of the players and I was scared, very scared. They told me that unless I do what they want me to they would kill me. Before I knew it I was taken somewhere by Portkey.

I found myself in a room alone with the four of them and then _he _entered. The evil lord that I have feared for so long stood in front of me. He knew that I was involved with the Order I think he had worked out that Dumbledore was running it and that he had recruited my friends and that I would have joined with them.

He told me that if I didn't join him he would kill me, and I knew it to be true he had killed so many already and I would just be another on the list. I didn't want to die like I said I'm weak and so I did what he asked me. I became his spy I chose to change sides. I'd like to say that I didn't have a choice in the matter but I know deep down I did, but a choice between living and dying isn't much of a choice at all.


	42. Choosing

Choices

Choice forty two: Lily

For too long now I've played with the hearts of two men, I've dated one since I was sixteen and the other since I was eighteen. But now that I am twenty I feel that I can no longer go on with this double life, I can't play them off each other any more its time for me to make my choice.

It's a hard decision to make but I know I must. I can't go on with them both forever I want to settle down and have a family but that will be impossible with the two of them.

But to choose which one is going to be the hardest decision of my life, I have so much in common with Sevie a thirst of knowledge, the ever need to learn more. Like him I'm always happiest away from the groups, with a book in hand. He's different just as I am and we have pulled each other along.

Although we do have differences. He is of a darker way of life; his peers, his housemates all had an evil that lived in them, which he himself would show. He is of a proper background. Wealth is key although he isn't as rich as some, not that it matters. In all he is dangerous his past and future showed that and we will never openly be able to be together.

James though is my polar opposite in many ways. He's loud, obnoxious and always seems to need people around him. He was star of the Quidditch team in school and always in trouble for some prank that he had pulled.

Yet surprisingly we share some qualities. He was a top student although it seemed he hardly worked for it, unless he was a closet studier. He is well mannered and stands up for what he believes in. His loyalty is unquestionable he never lets down his friends and he is truly thoughtful.

I know that this isn't right that I should never have started dating them both but Sevie's personality won me over and then James' did the same. It started as lust I know that but now its so much more I love both of them but I can't have both.

With James I feel as if I have given my whole heart and I couldn't imagine not having him in my life, our paths are united and with him I feel loved.

Sevie although I love him is on a different path in life to me. His is a darker path and I can't help thinking that he is working for Voldemort. Our paths were united once but we've hit a fork in the road and we can't choose the same way.

The sad thing is that both mean so much to me and I'm scared of losing either one but I know that I couldn't go on living if I lost James and its time I tell them the truth. I've made my choice and I want to live by it, I don't know if I will ever see Sevie again but I hope James will forgive me and stay part of my life.


	43. Changing

Choices

Choice forty three: Severus

Life throws obstacles in our paths, what we think we know normally turns out to be false. I wish that the obstacles could be removed from my way but then I would miss out on so much living if that was the case.

I was in love with Lily and I would have given her anything and everything but she is a mudblood and like all of her kind she can't be trusted. I knew we had differences she's a Healer, a sustainer of life and me, I'm a murderer.

Lily is everything that I'm not she's beautiful with her flame red hair and large emerald eyes. Her pale skin suits her drawing out her best features. She's caring and loving to all my complete better half.

But she isn't my better half she's a cheater, a two timing whore. I knew that she had kissed Potter once before she had admitted to it but to have dated us both that's an insult. I want to blame Potter but he had looked just as stunned when she had told us the truth, she was the only one to blame.

Yet I can't help but think that she had seen something in me to have started the relationship but she had thrown it away choosing Potter over me that is the biggest hit to me. Potter the perfect with his good looks and his friends she doesn't truly know what she is letting herself in for.

I loved her though even when I knew I shouldn't I'm a Death Eater; trained to kill, trained to hate anybody lower in purity than myself. Yet I can't hate her I love her more than anything even now.

But why Potter, that's what, keeps coming to mind. She hated him throughout school he was always following her around and asking her out. It's obvious that she fell for his charm like so many other girls. She says that she doesn't think looks are important but which one of us did she chose. Or maybe its money we're both rich but he has more money than me, or it could be that he's an Auror, a defender of the weaker, another job in which he can show off.

Or maybe just maybe she's picked James because he was fighting with Dumbledore against the Great Dark Lord. The Dark Lord wants rid of the impure and in the eyes of the pure that's what Lily is. I know she is not worthy but my heart doesn't except that.

Lily said that 'our paths are different' I think that she knows that I'm a Death Eater and that my job is to kill, but if that is the only reason for her to pick Potter over me then I'll show her that I can change that I can be good.

It was my choice to fight with Voldemort and now it is my choice to go against him. I know that Dumbledore has some sort of resistance and I shall go to him and try to convince him to allow me to spy for him, I will prove to Lily that our paths can be the same again and then I will have her again.


	44. Forgiving

Choices

Choice forty four: James 

The bitch, she played me all these years and I never realised it. I should have known something was up when she didn't want to go public with our relationship but that didn't even occur to me, but then again who would have thought that Lily would date two guys at once.

Its been a month since she came clean with me and I haven't seen her once in that time I know my friends suspect something but I doubt that they'll even believe the truth if they knew it. It is making things difficult what with Scarlett and Remus dating but Lily hasn't come around once.

I know that she wanted to get things out in the open and I admire the fact that she came clean and told me that she had been dating Snape as well as me, she didn't have to since it is obvious that she wanted to end things with Snape and stay with me but I'm glad that she did come clean.

I can't forgive what she's done to me; I feel like someone has punched me continuously in the stomach her betrayal is so bad. And yet I know that she wasn't betraying me as much as Snape since she was dating him first.

No matter how much I hate her at the moment I can't get over the fact that I'm miserable without her. Sirius has been keeping me updated on what she's doing and he reckons she's worse than I am. I hate feeling this way.

If someone had ever told me a woman would make me feel like this one day I'd have told them they were insane that I would never let a woman get so close as to be able to hurt me. Lily has penetrated all the defences I thought I had around me.

I know that forgiveness will not come easily and that I won't be able to trust her for a long time but she's already in my heart and I can't get her out of there, I've tried loads of things already. I've been out on dates but they always ended up the same, I'd spend the date daydreaming about Lily and how these girls were nothing like her.

Then I tried alcohol, I so drank Pete under the table and yet that didn't make me feel better, I spent the night telling Sirius how much I loved Lily and that I want to be with her, of course I didn't remember any of this in the morning but Sirius did.

I know that there's really only one thing that I can do and that's try to work things out with her, because without her I'm useless. I'm not sure how our relationship is going to turn out but I felt that we were strong, and I loved being with her.

The truth really is that I love Lily and I want her to be in my life for all eternity I can't not have her around now that I've had her with me so long. It isn't going to be easy I'm not stupid enough to think that things will be like they were before, but I love her and the choice is easy, I want her in my life and I'm sure she wants me in hers.


	45. Proposing

Choices

Choice forty five: James 

Lily and I have had our ups and downs and we've overcome all the difficulties that life has thrown our way. I know that we make each other better; Lily is like my anchor and keeps me from going over board.

The thing is our relationship has hit a fork in the road, we can keep going like we have been or we can grow and that's what I want to do. It's been a year since Lily broke up with Snape and it hasn't been the easiest year but things are looking up.

I'm in love with her, more now than ever before and I know what I want. I want to marry Lily. I know that it's a big step but I'm ready to commit to her that is if she wants me. I know that traditionally I'm suppose to ask her father for her hand, but since her father is dead the next best thing is her sister.

So I went to see her sister, what a mistake that turned out to be. I knocked the door and it was opened by Petunia. I'd met her before but it still surprises me how different she is to Lily. They look nothing alike and if I didn't know better I'd say they weren't related.

But she almost slammed the door in my face as soon as she saw me; it was only because I'm quick and slipped my foot in that I managed to stop her. I told her there and then that I wanted to marry Lily and she pulled a face looking over her shoulder and quickly said she didn't care as long as she didn't have to come to the wedding.

So with Lily's only family knowing I took Peter with me to buy an engagement ring. I know that sounds almost stupid and that most people would have thought I'd take Sirius with me but Peter's fingers are the same size as Lily's and so by taking him it was an instant ring fitting session.

So with that sorted I planned a romantic evening together and it so didn't turn out like I planned it to. Remus was with Scarlett, Pete was at some sort of meeting and Sirius was at work, so Lily and I were sat at the table with a romantic meal in front of us.

I pulled out the ring as Sirius' head appeared in the fireplace and he called Lily into work, there'd been an attack and since they were now second year trainees they were expected to help out since they had enough training to deal with minor injuries while the better trained worked on the more serious.

So as Lily left to help out the healers I ended up in the battle with the Aurors and not so surprisingly certain order members, including Remus and Scarlett. So when it was over we all went to the hospital, what with the fact that I had a slash across my face, Remus could hardly walk and Scarlett had a broken arm.

Sirius was taking care of me and Remus was in the bed next to me laughing as Sirius put on a show with it. Lily appeared with Scarlett and I looked at Lily and knew what I wanted to do so with Sirius standing in front of me waving his wand I pulled out my ring and just shouted, Lily Evans will you marry me.

The disbelief on her face was hilarious for a moment and then I saw doubt on her face, but when she grinned and said yes it was the best feeling in the world. I'm glad I chose to put any doubts about us aside, because if I hadn't I'd have lost the love of my life.


	46. Agreeing

Choices

Choice forty six: Lily 

I've always been a romantic and when I was little I use to pretend to get married. I always pictured my prince to be tall with dark hair and bright blue eyes. Well two out of three isn't bad. But the proposal well it wasn't how I had pictured it.

I always thought that when someone asked me to marry them it would be so romantic, that we would be on a picnic and he'd swoop me up into his arms and hold me close and whisper in my ear that he loved me and ask me to marry me, slipping the ring gently onto my finger.

But that's not how it happened, although I suppose it started off romantic with James making a lovely meal and we were alone which is something that doesn't happen often in his place with the four boys living together.

But then Voldemort attacked and I went into work, cleaning up all those that he had hurt. It's a hard job but Sirius makes it fun, with his constant flirting and all, I swear half the healers must think there's something going on between the pair of us the amount of time we spend messing around and play flirting.

Then Scarlett came in with her arm badly damaged and I mended it as quickly as possible. She told me that Remus and James had been brought in and I rushed to find them, only to find Remus in stitches on a bed laughing with tears in his eyes as Sirius preformed his stuff on James in the style he usually reserves for the scared children.

Then I had the surprise of my life, while watching Sirius messing around James pulled out a ring and screamed as loud as he could 'Lily Evans will you marry me' everyone turned to look at us. I wish I could say that I just blurted out yes but I didn't, it wasn't an easy choice.

My mind went straight to Sevie and to what he would think if he could see this now. I felt guilty because part of me still loved him and then I felt guilty for thinking about him when James asked me to marry him.

Then my mind flipped to my parents, they had always seemed so solid to me that was until my mum ran off and left us when I was twelve. I didn't know but she'd been having an affair for six years. If my parents marriage couldn't work how could mine.

Then I thought of James' parents how they loved each other so much and how they had survived all this time together. How James is so loving and caring, and that when I'm with him I feel like a much better person, as if nothing bad can happen to me.

Bad things are happening and it's dangerous at the moment but when I'm with James I feel safe as if the outside world can't harm me, it just feels right us being together. So as I looked up into his eyes I knew my answer although I could see the doubt in his.

I smiled and nodded and that was it, I was on the way to becoming Lily Potter, my past was behind me all the things I had done was as Lily Evans, but Lily Potter would be perfect, she won't hurt the people she loves. I'm so happy that I'm going to marry James and I know this is a choice I'll never regret.


	47. Baby

Choices

Choice forty seven: Lily

Our wedding wasn't that big, it was a small wedding with our closet friends and family. We didn't want it to be big we wanted it to be something personal to us, we didn't see the point of having so many people there when we just wanted those that were important to us.

We got married in September three years since we left Hogwarts, ten years since James and I had first met. It was a simple wedding like I had always planned. Although I had no real family there, Petunia refused to have anything to do with it and her husband of two years Vernon didn't want to either.

But it was perfect anyway Scarlett's dad gave me away which was appropriate since he had become like a father to me, making sure that in the wizarding world I could survive. Scarlett was my only bridesmaid, my maid of honour and that as what I wanted, although I knew that if things had been different Sapphire and Becky would have been there too.

Remus and Peter were ushers and Sirius of course best man. Our guests were not many, a few of the girls that I work with, James' co-workers, then we had Albus and Minerva along with members of the Order that we had grown close to.

It was a great day and by the end of it I couldn't stop smiling Lily Evans with all her mistakes was gone forever and now Lily Potter existed and I was determined not to mess anything up now that I was married.

However something unexpected happened in the November, I discovered that I'm pregnant. I know that I'm very early in my pregnancy and I've worked it out myself that I'm not due until July. I'm so excited but nervous about telling James because we've only been married two months and things are about to change big time.

But I couldn't tell James first, I was too nervous, so November passed without me saying anything and December entered. I still hadn't said anything to him but it was becoming clear that something was up. But I still couldn't say anything, then in training on the 17th December something happened that changed everything.

Sirius and I were teamed up like normal we only have two days of lessons a week now and spend three working with others in the hospital itself. So on this day we had to practice dealing with pregnancy and the scares that can occur. First thing we had to do though was make a potion for the detection of a foetus.

So we made it but then the healer said one of the pair would have to take it, well since I was with Sirius he couldn't so I downed the potion. I didn't know what to expect around me the women's stomachs were glowing white and then I started glowing yellow.

Sirius barked a laugh and looked around, and he patted me on the back saying we'd get it right next time, but Wright was staring at me, she would she was a healer and knew what that meant, Sirius watched me for a bit and then grinned. He looked at my stomach and rubbed it and screamed, baby is a coming. Then did this little funny jig.

I didn't know what to make of this but I knew that now Sirius had found out I would have to tell James, but I was still nervous. So I made Sirius promised not to say anything and I left. I didn't know where to go but I ended up in the muggle world, at my sister's house.

I knocked on the door knowing that it wasn't too late for visitors and Vernon answered the door. He gave me a look and went to shut the door but I stuck my foot in the door so that he couldn't close it.

He wasn't at all happy but I got in and headed straight for the living room looking for Petunia, when I found her I felt my mouth drop, she didn't look like her normal self what with a large bump where her stomach use to be flat.

She was pregnant she volunteered that information and that was all. I finally managed to get her to tell me that she was due in May but she wouldn't say anymore. I sat down watching Vernon looking at me funnily and then I started crying and Petunia for the first time in years acted like my sister.

She moved over and wrapped her arms around me and let me cry, from among the tears I managed to tell her that I was pregnant and that I was scared, I couldn't do this, not me, I'm not the kind of person that can handle a child.

She told me what she remembered of my birth, she had been five at the time and that helped a little then she told me that I should just tell James and he wouldn't be as bad as I thought. I thanked her knowing that she wasn't as comfortable around me as she had once been that my ability had driven as apart, but part of me was thrilled to have her give me advice, to know that she was going through the same things as me.

After speaking to her I know that I don't really have a choice in this matter, I'm having James' child and he needs to know, if I hold off any longer he'll be really upset and I don't want to fall back on the habits of Lily Evans, I'm Lily Potter now and I'm going to do things right.


	48. Baby 2

Choices

Choice forty eight: James

Family is the most important thing in a mans life and I'm the luckiest person in the world. I have family around me, although I have lost. My mother came down with something quite serious and she died at the start of December, I'm just glad that she was around for my wedding.

But my family is still large and going strong with Lily, Sirius, Remus and Pete surrounding me along with dad, but what's got me even happier is the fact that I'm going to be a father. I'm just so happy!

I know things aren't as straight forward as they could have been, like the fact that Lily knew for at least a month before she told me. That disappointed me that she didn't tell me straight away but I suppose it's a big deal and she needed time to get her head around it.

When Lily told me I knew something was up she sat on the sofa and pulled her legs up to her chest wrapping her arms around herself and just stared into space, I thought that something bad must have happened she was just staring into the fire. Then she simple said, 'I'm pregnant'.

I was surprised I won't pretend that I wasn't but I couldn't help the smile that had spread over my face it was the best news I'd ever had. I could tell she was worried because she was paler than normal, but I wrapped my arms around her and that was it we were having a baby.

I didn't know how the rest of the family would take it and I felt nervous and suddenly I knew how Lily must have felt. We didn't have much time to wait though since Sirius turned up like an hour after I'd found out. He appeared in the kitchen when I went to get a butterbeer he was already in our fridge.

He stood up grinned and just said 'alright daddy, got anymore ham?' and I yelled for Lily she hadn't told me that Sirius had known and I thought she had told him, that was quickly sorted and I realised how lucky I was.

I chose to tell dad next and he took it happily and then we told Scarlett, Remus and Pete, I'd always known that I'd been lucky. It wasn't long though before reality hit us and that danger was close behind us. Three times we were nearly killed by Voldemort, but at the end of it we escaped and I still have my family, I'm very lucky.

I know that we didn't chose to have a baby yet it was a surprise but during these dark times we need all the happiness we can get and this is one of those occasions, we can't stop living because darkness surrounds us and I'm going to make sure my child will be happy and never have to fear the dark cloud that is surrounding us.


	49. Decision

Choices

Choice forty nine: Voldemort

War is filled with causalities and most of them have been chosen by me I decide who my followers attack and how badly they are to be injured. It is because of me so many are dead but now I have discovered that there is another choice for me to make but this one is more vital than any other.

That know it all Dumbledore has been looking for a new professor for that useless subject Divination and while he was doing interviews I sent my servant after him and apparently it was well worth my time.

A prophecy was made that night by the woman Dumbledore was meeting now usually I don't hold much to these but I believe this one is very important. From what Snape was able to tell me I have a large decision to make.

Unfortunately he was caught before the entire prophecy was recited but he heard enough, what I know is…

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches … born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies …"_

This is however enough I know that a child will be born at the end of July who if allowed to grow will be able to defeat me, that must not be allowed to happen. There are bound to be many children born at the end of next month but there are only two whom this can fit.

I have been thrice defied by only two sets of people who are expecting a child, the Longbottoms and the Potters. One of them is holding the key to my destruction and they can not be allowed to live.

However I have discovered a small complication both families have been warned by Dumbledore my spy Pettigrew has informed me that they were all warned. It needn't matter for the time being, they are too well protected for the now but they will not be allowed to grow up, I will kill them both before they are too old.

But why both you might wonder, I cannot take the chance by allowing one to live, I shall have them both dead, the Longbottom and Potter child. When I am not yet sure and who I will kill first that will come down to opportunity, my spy will stay close and when the time is right I will strike.

My choice in this matter can make the difference between my success and my failure, I will not let a Longbottom or a Potter defeat me even if I have to kill half the wizarding world to get to them I will do it.

* * *

Okay so just letting you know I start back at Uni tomorrow so the posting is going to be going down a bit, as yet I'm not sure when I'll be in Uni so when I get my timetable I'll work out when I can post.

Kris


	50. Names

Choices

Choice fifty: Lily

Nine months isn't as long as it seems, when I was in Hogwarts I thought that the terms were long but in actual fact they weren't. Time has a way of dragging at points and speeding by at others. I thought that the nine months of pregnancy went fast, James doesn't agree. I think the labour was very long, James doesn't. But it doesn't matter now that we have our son.

I have a son and he's so gorgeous, but he's still baby Potter at the moment, we have no name for him. We have been thinking we weren't ideal during the pregnancy but everyone has something to say about the names.

I liked Tom but then I found out that is Voldemorts real name so that one went, Edward, James' dad likes Ben but that reminds me of that muggle bear so that's a no. Then James wanted to call him James junior but that one was quickly shot down.

Then Peter thought that maybe we should call him Godric, since we were Gryffindors in school and we live in Godrics hollow but neither James nor I liked it. Sirius thought maybe he could be Sirius the second but can you imagine two Sirius' that will not be happening.

Remus thought maybe we should call him either Edward or Ryan after his grandfathers but I don't want to name him after my father because that would be a connection to Lily Evans' and she's gone with all her bad ways. Then Scarlett thought maybe William.

There were so many names flying around I didn't know what we should call him, it's a real pain. But then it came to us, or I should say me. You see I was in the muggle world when I went into labour and got taken to Hastings hospital.

Well I thought about it while I was there and the battle of Hastings came to mind, don't ask me why because it's a muggle thing, maybe its because I was reading a book on it in the hospital when Sirius and James were playing with the baby.

Harold was killed at the battle and the name Harold is quite sweet I rather liked it and told James I wanted to call our son Harold. He didn't like it and refused to agree to the name so still baby Potter.

Well I carried on calling the baby Harold and James was calling him James, and of course Sirius was calling the baby Sirius. I swear we really couldn't come up with a name and then it was about two weeks after we'd had the baby and we at home and Sirius walked in and for the first time didn't call the baby Sirius, but Harry.

When he said it the baby looked at him and waved I couldn't believe it the baby was responding to the name Harry. James wasn't happy and asked why he had called the baby that and Sirius just looked at us smiling and said it was short for Harold.

Well the more we thought of it the more it grew on us, Harry Potter, no Harry James Potter. Yes that was what we finally named our son, I know it's a weird way to do it but we wanted everyone's input and it was a good choice otherwise Merlin knows what we would have called him.

* * *

Okay so just thought I'd let you know some good news; I'm only in Uni for six hours a week, yeah that serious. So for the time being the posting is going to be on Mondays and Thursdays but I haven't had my new rotas for work yet, so that might still change since it looks like I'm going to be working at least two weekdays. 


	51. Godparents

Choices

Choice fifty one: James

Now that Harry is in the world a lot of things have changed and one of them is the responsibility I need to grow up and so do the people around us. I've gotten the guys to promise that all swearing will be kept to a minimum around the baby but something more pressing needs to be sorted.

We're going to christen Harry and that means we need godparents, of course that now means we have to choose from among our large number of friends I suppose choosing a godmother for him should have been easy because Scarlett is Lily's best friend but she can't do it.

Why you might be asking, well one she's never been christened herself so she couldn't be a godparent but that could easily have been sorted as she could be christened at the same time but there's also the fact that now she's an Order member she's away.

You see since we joined the Order over a year ago we're all busy trying to get information on Voldemort and Scarlett well she's good looking and since she's single again she is good at getting information from the male Death Eaters, she's beautiful or at least most men think she is and one flutter of the eyelashes and you'd tell her anything and it works.

So since she is out collecting information she won't be back for another two months at least and we don't want to wait that long for her so she won't be godmother. Lily is quite upset about this and because we really can't afford to wait due to the fact we have now become targets for Voldemort we've decided that Harry won't have a godmother, but Scarlett will be able to act as one.

As for godfather that's a much harder decision to make, believe it or not I can't pick from my friends. Sirius has been like a brother to me and is my best friend but then there's Remus who needs his friends more than most people understand; he's understanding, patient and is so good with Harry. Then there's Peter too he isn't the smartest person or the bravest but he's kind and honest and has an unbelievable knack with small children.

The choice I must admit is difficult and it is Remus who has come through once more he's refusing to be godfather. I know that's strange but he's decided that he doesn't want to have people think ill of Harry because of his connection to Remus, I don't get it myself but I am aware of the fact things are getting tougher on him, and I'm respecting his wishes, just because he isn't godfather doesn't mean that he won't have a part in Harry's life.

Then there's Peter he's away too. The Falcon's are touring America playing against their top Quidditch teams and since he's equipment manager they've taken him with them. I'm sure that he's also keeping an eye on Meriwether the coach since we've had word he is a Death Eater.

Because Pete is in America it's made it a much easier choice than I ever thought, Sirius is going to be godfather. I suppose it's the logical choice really because like I said he's my brother, best friend, was my best man, first to know about Lily being pregnant and he even came up with Harry's name. There isn't anybody better he's been there all the way through and I'm sure he'll always be there for Harry he's that kind of guy.

So with our choice made its time for a quick christening with only the four of us, Lily, Sirius, Harry and myself can't afford to have anybody else there the enemy is all around us, but for one day we're going to play make believe and have a good day just for us.


	52. Hiding

Choices

Choice fifty two: Lily

_Petunia,_

_I know that we haven't been close for many years but you are still my sister which is why I'm sending you this letter, and may I point out that this was sent by Royal mail and not by owl so sometimes I really do think of you and what you want._

_Things are turning bad in my world, and although I'm sure you will pretend not to care I feel I must tell you at least something's while I am still able to. First there are many deaths and disappearances and it might only be a small time before I too am gone from this world._

_You might think this has nothing to do with you, but I know that even your world is being affected. For example the deaths that have been said to be gang related and are probably being reported on the BBC have all been done by someone in my world, someone very evil named Voldemort._

_You'll remember that I had been pregnant the last time we met, I know that you were to and I know that you had a son named Dudley, I bet he's a treasure and I know that you love him with all your heart, doesn't it make you feel even closer to mum because the way you feel for him is how she felt for us, it makes me appreciate all the choices she made in her life for us._

_As for me I too had a son, Harry James. I know you'll be thinking what a common name but I wanted to name him Harold but Sirius our friend decided to shorten it to Harry and it's just stayed. He's a lovely boy and I love him with all my heart and would do anything and everything for him._

_That brings me to the reason for sending this letter to you. You must understand that things are very dark here and it's a scary time to be like me, its made me wonder what would have happened if I had never agreed to attend the school I did, but looking at Harry I know I would do it all again._

_The evil man, Voldemort he's after us, I mean James, Harry and I you are safe he won't come for you, Vernon or Dudley I give you my word that as long as I have breathe in my lungs my entire family will be safe and that will always include you._

_But since he wants us dead it has left us with only one decision we must go into hiding and I'm not sure if we'll ever be able to come out. Petunia I'm scared, really scared I wish that mum was here so she could give me a hug and tell me that everything will be okay, but I'm the mum now and it's my job._

_This letter is my goodbye to you. I know that we haven't seen each other in such a long time and I could probably go into hiding without telling you and you'd never now but you have to know in case I don't come out of this alive. _

_I love my family more now than ever before and I wouldn't change anything about my life. Being born to our family gave me a chance to grow and learn things that many here don't know and then getting this life has improved me. I know I wasn't the best person I never pretended to be perfect and I don't now._

_I wish you all the best in your life for eternity Petunia. I hope that you will get the chance to grow old with Vernon, have many children and grandchildren that will surround you and make you happy. _

_I've hated the distance that took over our relationship but I have always loved you and I always will nothing will change that you are my big sister and thank you for everything, you're guidance helped me to learn, you're coldness showed me that there are aspects of us all that people won't like but your love has meant more to me than anything._

_If I live through this time I will come visit you, and I promise that I will come by public transport wearing a nice skirt and top and will not embarrasses you. If not I will await the day our family will once again be united._

_My love for all eternity._

_Lily xx_


	53. Keeper

Choices

Choice fifty three: Dumbledore

I've seen many things in my years and some of the toughest have been presented to me lately. I've known for some time of a prophecy that could be directed to the youngest Potter and as he grows older I can see that Voldemort has decided he is the target.

Having Lily and James come to me earlier and tell me that they have to go into hiding is the hardest thing I've ever witnessed. I watched the pair grow from children into the adults they are now, I witnessed their love grow and now to see their fear is horrible.

I know Lily considered the muggle world after all it is the world she was born into and we both know she could survive there without magic and take care of James and Harry so that they could as well. But as much as that would be good for them all three of us know that won't take them out of danger.

I'm afraid that their only choice was to get a secret keeper and hide in their own house. Of course they will be quite safe as long as they are together and their keeper doesn't break the promise they will make.

Looking at James I could tell he knew what I'd been thinking and that he was as sad as me. He loves life he always has. I watched him around the school he didn't like being kept in one place and this is going to be hard on both of them especially with such a young child.

With our meeting over it had been decided that a secret keeper was their only choice and I know that I want to help them in any way I can. That was why I volunteered to have their secret. I know that it surprised both of them and yet didn't at the same time, they are some of the nicest people I've met in a long time.

Having them agree to think it over gave me the feeling that although they appreciate the offer they aren't going to accept but that leads me to need to speak to them all the more. But when little Harry started crying Lily stood and just looked at me. I watched as the boy was passed to James and she hugged me.

This felt like goodbye to me and I knew that was what she was thinking especially when she thanked me and taking Harry she left. James remained seated looking at me and I sat down and told him everything that I knew.

For the first time I told him the full prophecy, letting the words that had haunted me for over a year flow over him.

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches … born to those that have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies … and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not … and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives … the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies …"_

James' face said everything and I could tell that he was scared for his son. It had always been thought that together we would be able to defeat Voldemort but here was the proof that only little Harry or Neville could. Of course I didn't tell him of Neville, why? I can't tell you but something said that this was not the time for such things.

When James seemed alright I spoke to him once more about his secret keeper but this time stressing something I hadn't planned on telling him when he had first entered my office. I know that someone close to him and Lily is a traitor.

I can't say who it is but I'm sure it is one of their friends which leaves us with four choices, Scarlett, Remus, Peter or Sirius. As much as I wish this wasn't true I can't change that. I wish I could I really do, all I could do was stress how important the choice for their keeper really is.

As he left I got the feeling that I would see him at least once more before he goes into hiding, but I can't make the choice of his keeper for him and as much as I hope he will have listened to what I've just told him and pick me, something tells me that one of his friends is about to be asked to do something very important.

* * *

Okay so I have an essay due in on the 26th October so not sure when the next post will be but hopefully it won't be too long. 


	54. Deciding

Choices

Choice fifty four: Lily

Decisions are always hard to make, even the ones that seem so simple such as deciding what to have for tea, or what to wear so imagine having to decide on who would be responsible for your safety. Well that's what we've got to decide now.

After talking to Dumbledore James and I are sure that we must hide away so that Harry will be able to live. But now we must decide who we can trust with our secret. This is the toughest decision I think that we will ever make; I can only hope that we make the right one.

Something in Dumbledore's voice was almost begging us to choose him and I think that he knows something he didn't tell me, but I can't work out what. I have to admit that Dumbledore is probably the best choice because everyone knows that Voldemort fears him.

As well as the fact that he is feared by him there is also the act that he is a very powerful wizard who really cares for us and something inside tells me that as long as Dumbledore is looking out for us well be safe.

But then as well as that part of me wants to ask Scarlett to do it. She wouldn't do anything to hurt us she'd keep us safe after all she is like a second sister to me, my magical sister. But she is always in the face of danger always with Death Eaters and informants, how long will she be able to carry on, well I don't know, but she wouldn't give us away not even then.

Then there is Sirius he is part of this family, he's James' brother, he's Harry's godfather he's a great friend. He and I spend so much time together that I'm sure that he cares for me as a sister just like he cares for James as a brother. He's a smart man and would do everything he could to protect us.

Then there's Remus, he isn't what most people would call a safe bet, but I know he'd do anything for his friends. I've seen how much he relies on us all because of his condition and I have a feeling that he would do everything he could to keep us safe because that's what he is like.

As for Peter well nobody would probably expect us to choose him after all to the outside world he would seem the weakest of us all, when in actual fact he isn't really he's just shy and scared of people. He could be a good choice because nobody would see that coming.

Oh there's so many choices that we could make that I don't know what to do. We need to take action soon but we can't be foolish and rush the choice, I think this may be one of the few things I'll let James have complete say in, because I trust him completely and he won't do anything to hurt us.


	55. Deciding 2

Choices

Choice fifty five: James

Imagine finding out that somebody you trust doesn't deserve that trust. I'd have never thought that one of my friends would be untrustworthy but the evidence I suppose has been in front of me for so long but I just don't know who it is.

There is only one thing I feel certain of and that is Sirius isn't the traitor. I know Sirius as well as I know myself and he hates the Death Eaters. They remind him too much of his own family and he has always hated them.

I know Dumbledore told me about the traitor because he wants me to think long and hard about whom we choose but the more I think about it the more I think the traitor could be Remus. Now don't get me wrong I love Remus like a brother but lately he hasn't been himself.

I suppose it started about a year ago when my dad died, he became more withdrawn especially when he lost his job. Then there is the fact so many of the Werewolves are joining Voldemort, now that doesn't actually mean Remus is the traitor but he seems to be trying to pull away from us.

Then there's Peter he's too scared to join Voldemort I think he acts like he's weak but if he came face to face with a Death Eater he could easily win with the spells he knows but there's no way he could be a traitor, I don't think he'd be able to hide it from us.

Scarlett well she's deeply involved with the Death Eaters but she uses them to get what she needs this is so difficult to decide. I think I'm just going to have to go with my instinct and ask Sirius if he says no well then I'll have Dumbledore.

How can you really choose who you're going to trust not only with your life but with the lives of your loved ones? I can't be the one to make this decision and after speaking long and hard with Lily we've decided, its going to be Sirius. I can only hope that the choice I have made it the right one and that my trust in him is justified.


	56. Accepting

Choices

Choice fifty six: Sirius

I'm twenty one years old and I've known James now for ten years, that might not seem all that long to you, you might have someone you've known longer but it doesn't matter the length of time we've actually known each other as it feels like a life time. He's the best friend I've ever had and I would do anything for him.

It didn't surprise me in the least when Lily asked me at work to join her and James for dinner, I do most nights whether they want me to or not but being asked is always a good thing. So after work I went round to their place and sat on the floor and played with Harry, same as I always do.

It was a quiet evening but there was a tense feeling in the air and I know James so well I could tell there was something wrong. So I let Lily put Harry to bed and when she came back down I demanded to know what was up, boy do I wish I hadn't asked.

James told me about a prophecy, I'm not sure what it is exactly but I know it relates to Harry and Voldemort, and that it means that the Death Eaters are going to track Harry down to kill him. There's no way in hell am I going to let that thing get our boy and James nodded at my words.

That's when he told me of their plan to go into hiding, that there was no other way for them to keep Harry safe and he asked me to be their secret keeper. I'll admit I was over whelmed and panicked by the idea I knew this could mean the end of me but looking at Lily and James and knowing Harry is upstairs I would die to keep them alive.

I agreed and both of them looked relieved and then Harry started crying and Lily left the room. A soon as she was gone James thanked me and looking around continued to tell me more about the story. There's a traitor among us and the traitor is close one of our friends, and he told me that I'm the only one that he trusts a hundred percent.

We sat there looking at each other, we're so close that we think alike and both of us knew that the other was thinking about Remus when it came to the traitor. He's always been a friend but he feels the need to please people because of what he is and I think although I hate thinking it that Voldemort has gotten to him.

This just made me more determined to keep my friends safe, I know that once the spell has been done I shall go into hiding myself so that the Death Eaters can't find me. I know that James is trusting me with this and I can't screw up, it was my choice to agree to what he has asked and it is now my duty to do everything I can to keep my family safe.


	57. Agreeing 2

Choices

Choice fifty seven: Dumbledore

Life is filled with lessons and we can only guide those around us. I have done my best to guide all the students that have come my way to treat them with the same level of respect but of course there are always some that we are closer to than others and that is the case with the Potters.

When I told them that they would have to go into hiding and that they needed a secret keeper I stepped forward because I don't want to see anything happen to them it would be the worse thing in the world especially with little Harry, but I know that I can only guide them.

James came back to me this evening with his answer he wants to have Sirius Black be his keeper. I must admit that I expected this choice Sirius has been like a brother to James and there is a connection between them that nobody can deny.

My only reservation is that he could well be the traitor, he has the links to the Death Eaters after all his own brother is following that path but I can only hope that he has stuck by his instincts and isn't following that path.

He has a lot ahead of him and I'm not sure that Sirius really understands the risk he has placed himself in, the traitor will know that Sirius is the secret keeper plus it would be expected that Sirius was chosen he will be sought after by Voldemort now there is no denying that.

When James looked me in the eyes though I knew that this was goodbye and that it would be a long time before I would be able to look upon this young man again, I am proud of him as a father is proud of a son. He has come a long way from the rascal he was in school and the man in front of me deserves to live.

Taking his most precious belongs from him and hugging him I couldn't help but hope this wasn't the final goodbye, for all my talk there is nothing I can do to convince this man to rethink and pick me, I know if he does this will not be goodbye but I can't and I must accept his choice.

Life isn't an easy thing when we start to understand it something gets thrown at us, we must each live in our own way and I've had a long and good life it is now my hope that the choice I gave to the Potters will allow them the same luxury that I have had.


	58. Changing 2

Choices

Choice fifty eight: Sirius

The more I think of the task ahead of me the more I think that I'm the wrong man for the job. Don't get me wrong I love James, Lily and little Harry and I'm very close to them but that means that it's obvious that they would pick me.

I mean if I was a Death Eater, let's say Snape, because lets face it he's evil, I would look at the people around the Potters and think which one is he likely to ask to be his secret keeper. I mean it's obvious I'm his best friend he's going to ask me.

Then Remus he isn't stupid even if he has made a bad choice he'll know that James has picked me and he'll tell Voldemort and then they'll come after me, and I can run and I can hide but they'll catch up with me, unless I too get a secret keeper, but I don't want to hide away not like James has to.

The more I think of this the more I feel that we have to do something bold that nobody with any sense will see coming, we have to switch but more importantly we can't tell anybody.

I went to James this morning knowing full well that the spell is going to be done tonight and told him what I think. I could tell that he wasn't happy but there is logic to my madness and he knows it. We spent all morning sitting there talking about it and he knows that its right which is why we're going to swap.

He wanted to tell Al I could tell but if Dumbledore knows that's one more person and even though there is no doubt that Al is on the good side he is only human and therefore open to making a mistake, even if the entire wizarding world doesn't think it.

We looked through our friends who we could ask and the person was right under our noses, there is only one person who can take my place and nobody will suspect and that's Peter. He's stronger than he thinks and he'll be able to do the spell no problem and because people see him as weak they won't consider him to be the keeper.

Of course we shall have to convince him but more importantly we'll have to convince Remus that I'm the keeper. I don't like lying to my friends but I know there is no other choice in the matter as this is the difference between life and death I just hope that Remus doesn't see this coming.

* * *

Just want to let you know that for the next two weeks there's probably not going to be a post because I have two essays to write and two seminars to prepare, but as soon as they're out of the way you'll get you next post

Kris


	59. Agreeing 3

Choices

Choice fifty nine: Peter

My master relies on me more than he does the others because I'm close to the Potters, Longbottoms and even Dumbledore. I can get information that nobody else can for him because I'm part of that stupid Order to try and defeat him.

What I didn't know was that Dumbledore had told James about the prophecy involving his brat and that he had always spoken about a traitor. Luckily for me even James thinks I'm too weak to keep a secret from them, but I've kept Wormtail a secret from the world of course I could keep my spying a secret.

What I never expected though was his distrust in Remus. I suppose the fact that he's a werewolf does go against him but James has never held that against him before now. James along with Sirius came to me this afternoon with a proposal that will make me Voldemort's top Death Eater.

James is going into hiding with Lily and Harry and they need a secret keeper and of course Sirius is going to be that, but wait no he isn't. That is why they came to me, they think that having Sirius be the keeper is too obvious, and well it is, and that Remus will go to Voldemort and tell him and they'll track down Sirius.

I had to stop myself laughing but when they said they wanted me in his place I was stunned, I thought they'd go to Scarlett next not me but then they explained how nobody would expect it to be me because I'm the one that nobody notices in the group, the background man.

Of course I made a huge fuss about how I wouldn't be able to do it how I was too weak and wouldn't be able to keep the secret, but they told me they'd make sure everyone thought Sirius was the keeper and slowly I nodded in agreement.

They looked so happy and I could tell that they both thought they would be safe now, but boy are they wrong. I'll let them think that they are safe give them a week or so in hiding and then I shall tell my Lord where they are hiding and I will be rewarded beyond belief while everyone blames Sirius for it, how much better can it get?

It's not everyday that you are served such a prize without having to work for it, it's a brilliant thing for me and my choice in the matter is to agree and then sell the Potters out and get everything that I've ever wanted.

* * *

Okay so this is nearly at its end but you'll have to wait a week for more because I won't be here at all from tomorrow on. Sorry 


	60. Hiding 2

Choices

Choice sixty: James

I've always believed in standing up for the little people, for the weaker and the idea of walking away from a battle goes against everything I've ever believed. But Voldemort is a battle I know I must walk away from.

I want to stand tall and fight for what is right but my family has become my biggest priority and although I know that Lily can take care of herself Harry can't and that it why we must go into hiding.

The thought of having to stay in this house for Merlin knows how long isn't appealing to me but I must do what is right and that leads to only one conclusion and that's this place for Merlin knows how long.

After speaking to Peter and convincing him to help out I went round to Scarlett's and got her to agree to come round for dinner and then I went to see Remus and did the same. I felt shivers when I was speaking to him he was the same as always but he isn't really he's trying to have my Harry killed.

That evening sitting around the dinner table was fantastic it was like old times joking around, throwing food putting Sirius in a headlock and refusing to let him go until he admitted that I'm the better looking of the pair of us.

When we sat around eating ice-cream I looked at everyone and knew that it was time to tell them the truth so I did. I announced that I had been to see old Al and that he had told me of a prophecy that meant that Voldemort was going to come after Harry.

Everyone looked shocked and I was glad to see that Peter made it look like he had never heard this before, Sirius however just swung on his chair smiling as he put more and more ice-cream in his mouth.

I continued with the story saying that Lily and I were going into hiding and that Sirius was going to be our secret keeper nobody objected and he grinned through the ice-cream causing us all to laugh. It was much harder than I ever thought it was going to be saying goodbye to our closet friends.

As the evening was drawing to an end everyone had to leave and I'm not ashamed to say that I cried saying goodbye. Lily too was in tears as we each hugged Scarlett goodbye, then she left and we were left with just the boys.

I hugged Remus patting his back in a brotherly manner, I didn't care in that moment that he is the traitor he's Remus Lupin, my friend of ten years a man who has had a tough life and can't see any other way to live. He looked into my eyes and I swear he knew what I was thinking I smiled and he nodded hugging Lily.

He left soon after that and Sirius and Pete remained. Sirius hugged me tightly refusing to let me go, and I hugged him just as tightly. He gave Lily a tight hug too kissing her gently then he left and we were left with Peter.

He did the spell and then hugged the pair of us leaving us alone. It's strange to know that we can't step outside the door and that nobody other than Peter can come in, it's a choice that we had to make and as long as we're safe I don't care I'd make the choice over and over again.

* * *

Hiya this is just a quick post because well I have two minutes to spare. This is quickly drawing to an end and well I hope you like this chapter, it was really difficult to write, not sure if James did tell them all, but I'm sure he did and well yeah. 


	61. Traitor

Choices

Choice sixty one: Peter

My friends were important when I was in school, they helped me in my lessons and included me in their lives, but we've grown up and as much as nobody wants to admit it we're not friends anymore we haven't been friends for a long time.

I mean I suppose they still class me as a friend but they don't know anything about me, they don't know what I really am and because of that they can't be my friends. Why do I keep saying this? Well because it makes my decision easier.

Tonight I truly did betray my friends, I got a piece of paper and wrote James' address on it and handed it to my Master. He smiled a wicked smile and told me I was to be rewarded after he had finished what he had to do.

Voldemort left and I went home I didn't think about what I had done I couldn't. It was only when I heard cheers that I realised something had gone wrong, that's when I discovered that my Lord had been defeated and that James and Lily were dead but Harry was still alive.

I did the only thing I could think of and ran, there was nothing else for it I had to go Sirius knew the truth he'd kill me if he caught up with me but I knew people would blame him after the show and dance he and James had put on about how Sirius was going to be keeper.

Of course it wasn't long before Sirius caught up with me, I was on a muggle street in London and he cornered me. I wasn't going without a fight though for years Sirius and James had told me I was stronger than I thought and so screaming the words how could you, it was Lily and James, I sent off a bad spell.

It blew up the street killing muggles as I went. Quickly I pulled out my pocket knife and chopped off my finger knowing that it was going to hurt. Then quickly I became Wormtail and went down into the sewers.

I know this isn't the hero's way but I'm not a hero I'm a weak man that always takes the easy way out. I won't go to Azkaban Sirius will and I shall wait fro the return of my Lord because he shall return, and until that day I shall spend my life as Wormtail and that is my final choice.


	62. Chasing

Choices

Choice sixty two: Sirius

I can't believe that it's happened like this, my one goal was to keep James, Lily and Harry safe and I've let them down, James and Lily are dead. I can't get my mind around the fact that Peter was the traitor I mean it was Peter!

I hadn't seen them since that night when I left after the meal, its only been a week but the thought that I'll never seen them sitting at the table again or Lily running around the wards is too much.

I'd thought it weird that Voldemort hadn't come after me I was sure that Remus would have told Voldemort by now but I suppose since we put their lives in the hands of the traitor he didn't have to come after me.

When I found out what had happened, well I had been in work and word came instantly well more or less of the defeat of Voldemort and that Lily and James had been found dead. Everyone in the hospital was silent because well Lily was somebody everyone had known but me I ran outside jumped onto my motorbike and took off to Godric's Hollow and their home.

I reached it and found Hagrid standing over the wreck and going over to him he had Harry in his hands, I asked for Harry to be given to me after all I am his godfather but Hagrid said that Dumbledore had ordered for him to take him to his aunts.

As soon as Hagrid said that I realised something, James and Lily were dead, Peter was the traitor but everyone thought that I was the secret keeper there was nobody to back me up and would they believe that Peter had done this, well that wasn't likely I had to get him before he disappeared for good.

So looking at Hagrid I moved over to him and kissed Harry's forehead, doing so I saw a small lightning shaped scar the sign of what Peter had done to his parents. I muttered that I was sorry it was my fault after all, I might not have held the wand but I convinced James to change to Peter.

So giving Hagrid Lucinda my motorbike I took off in search for Peter, he wasn't that difficult to find but when I cornered him on that muggle street and people began to watch us he screamed how could I, how could I do that to James and Lily.

I'll admit I was shocked and didn't react quickly enough, he sent off a spell I don't know what but it blew up the street and then there he was as Wormtail on the floor crawling through the grate into the sewers.

I ask what could I do? I'd just been out done by Peter Pettigrew the tag along. I just started laughing, I knew this was the end for me, Peter had made it so, but I know that he's still out there somewhere and I know that I'm innocent the Dementors here at Azkaban can't cause me more pain than knowing that.

I can only think about what I have done by letting Peter be the keeper, I helped him to get at James and Lily and now Harry will never know his parents. I swear though I shall get out of here one day and hunt that traitor down even if it's the last thing I do, it is my only choice as nobody else is going to make him pay for what he has done.


	63. Harry

Choices

Choice sixty three: Dumbledore

_Petunia Dursely._

_You don't know me personally although I am sure that you have heard about me through your sister, yes I am or at least was a friend of Lily's. I'm writing this to bring you the most devastating of news, your sister is dead._

_Lily told me of a letter she sent to you only a month ago where she explained some thing's that have been occurring in the world just out of your reach and well things have come to a head and good times have been restored but we have had to lose something far greater to get to this stage._

_A week ago Lily along with James and Harry went into hiding; they had a spell put on their house which meant that nobody would be able to enter it unless told by one of their friends. I had warned James that a traitor was close to them and they chose the traitor as their keeper believing that this would be the one person not to be._

_Last night Voldemort got into their house and went after them. I can tell you that James stood tall and tried to give Lily time to escape with Harry but Voldemort killed him and then he cornered Lily with Harry, she died saving her son and this is where you now come into the story._

_I know that you and Lily aren't as close as some sisters and that a barrier was set up the day that we sent her a letter to welcome her to our school but you are still sisters. You are the only family Harry now has left and as an infant he will need you to help him._

_You might be wondering why you? There are many in the wizarding world that would be thrilled to have Harry after all it is because of him that Voldemort has been destroyed but you see Lily's sacrifice is the reason._

_There are many that will want Harry dead but Lily's sacrifice will keep him safe as she gave her life for him and that's a great magic one that even muggles have. The fact of the matter is Petunia that you have the same blood as Lily you after all had the same parents and therefore as long as Harry is living with you he can come to no harm._

_That is why you have found Harry on your doorstep, that is why nobody else can raise him. I know that you have a young son of your own and that he is the most important thing in your life but your sister was important to you once and Harry will always be important to her, please take care of him._

_I wish that there was another choice but there isn't Petunia if you do not take him in now he will be dead and then your sister's sacrifice will have been for nothing. I ask you to do one last thing for your sister and take care of her son until he is old enough to stand on his own two feet in our world._

_I will be keeping an eye on the situation and if there are any dangers I will protect you all. You will be hearing from me again Petunia when Harry is older._

_Yours sincerely_

_Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore_


	64. Leaving 2

Choices

Choice sixty four: Scarlett

I've known a lot of hurt in my life. I lost my mother and sister to Voldemort and now I've lost my best friend. It's strange to know that the people you love have all been taken from you. Sirius betrayed not only Lily and James that night, he betrayed Peter when he killed him and me and Remus by taking everyone away from us.

It's a hard thing to know that I'll never see Lily's smiling face again. That I'll never hear that laugh or have her hug me close and tell me that everything is fine and that what I've been doing was right. That I was helping to defeat Voldemort.

The only consolation I suppose is that Harry survived and that a bit of Lily and James will get to live on. That with Lily and James' deaths they took Voldemort with them. We're all safe and that's fantastic.

There is one thing though. I know that I can't stay now, that I will never be able to call this place my home again. I know that England was always the place I felt happiest but not anymore. I can't stand to be here. It's only been two days since my best friend's death and I can't cope.

Everywhere that I look reminds me of Lily and James in someway. I walk down the street and think I see one of them. I sit in my house and remember when Lily use to live here and run down the stairs smiling with something to tell me.

I shall have to leave there is no other choice. I am Italian and can speak the language fluently so I will move to their ministry work for them and leave my past behind. I shall forget about England being my home and move on in the only way that I possibly can and that is by looking to the future and not the past.

There is one thing I shall have to do first and that is attend the funeral but after my goodbyes are said I shall be gone for good and that is my decision this place has too many sad memories for me.


	65. Moving On

Choices

Choice sixty five: Remus

My life has been filled with many tragedies but none so bad as the last few days. In a matter of two days I've lost everyone who was ever important to me and there's nothing I can ever do to get them back.

I suppose the first person I lost was Sirius and yet I didn't even know it. He was a traitor working for Voldemort. He was like the rest of his family only he was much better at hiding it from us. I swear I thought that he was a good man that cared for people but I have never been more mistaken.

Then there was James. He truly was a great man. He was there for me through so much and never judged me. He was killed by Voldemort on Halloween. I know that he stood tall and faced the man that was destroying our world because that was the kind of man that he was. He wouldn't back down he would try everything to save the ones he loved.

Then there was Lily. She and I didn't get off to the best of starts but she truly was one of the best people I ever met. She had a way of seeing good in you even when you couldn't see it in yourself. She was caring and fun and died to save her son and that was Lily to a tee always doing what she could to help.

Peter was the next friend I lost. He was a great guy and although most found a lot of fault in him when he was needed he was always there. He was braver than most thought and his death showed that to our entire world. He hunted down Sirius and tried to make him pay for what he had done to Lily and James. But Sirius killed him, leaving only his finger behind.

Harry too was taken from me. I suppose that with Lily and James gone it was bound to happen. I mean I couldn't take care of him. I'm a werewolf it's impossible but I thought I would still have a part in his life. But since he's being raised in the muggle world by Petunia I won't be able to meet him until he's started Hogwarts.

I suppose the last friend that I have lost is Scarlett. She said she couldn't stay here anymore not after everything that has happened and I don't blame her. Its tough and I feel the need to escape as well. I know she's going to Italy and I suppose it isn't a permanent goodbye like the others because we'll keep in touch through owls.

She did stay long enough for the funeral. It's strange but the entire wizarding world was celebrating the defeat of Voldemort and had seemed to have forgotten that two great people were killed in the process.

There was a good turn out. People from the hospital and the Aurors turned out to give their last respects. Then there were those that had been in the Order with us and the professors from Hogwarts. I think the surprise guest was Petunia who turned up with Harry. She had come to say goodbye to Lily and I suppose that says something about the women.

I held Harry that day and so did Scarlett. Then we said goodbye and he was gone from our lives and then Scarlett too left. I can't believe this is the end of so many of my friends and I wish I could change it. I don't want to be left on my own. But I have only one choice and that is to move on with my life, and I know this is the hardest choice I've ever had to make.

* * *

And that my friends is the end of this story. I hope that you have enjoyed it as much as I have. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed and to the lovely **Annie **for all the beta work that she did for this.

Kris


End file.
